Rutherford Revised (144)

144. To Mr George Gillespie         From Aberdeen 13 Mar 1637

Reverend and dear brother, - I received your letter. As for my case, brother, I bless His glorious name, that my losses are my gain, my prison a palace, and my sadness is joy. When I first came here, my fears so worked on my cross, that I became jealous of the love of Christ, as if He had thrown me out of His vineyard, and I was greatly challenged, as melted gold often casts a scum of dross, and Satan and out corruption form the first words that our heavy cross speaks, and say, 'God is angry, He does nt love you.' But our fears are not Scripture, they tell lies of God and Christ's love. But since my spirit is settled, and the clay has fallen to the bottom of the well, I can now see better what Christ was doing.. And now my Lord has returned with salvation under his wings. Now I almost have half of a heaven, and every day I find Chis so sweet, comfortable, lovely and kind, that only three things trouble me: 1st, I do not see how to be thankful, or how to get help to praise that Royal King, who raises up those who are bowed down. 2nd, His love pains me and wounds my soul, so I have a fever wanting His real presence. 3rd, Too much desire to take proofs in God's name, that I now suffer for Christ and His truth; yes, the apple of the eye of Christ's honour, even the sovereignty and royal rights of out King and Lawgiver Christ. And therefore, let no-one be afraid of Christ's cross, or make a bad report about Him or it; for he carries it and the sufferer too. 
   I am troubled with disputes with the great doctors (especially with Robert Barron)in controversies about ceremonies and Arminianism, for everyone is corrupt here; but I thank God there is no vanquishing the truth or discrediting of my witness. So then. I see Christ can triumph in a weaker man than me; and who can be weaker? But His grace is sufficient for me.
   Brother remember our old covenant and pray for me, and write to me about your situation. The Lord Jesus be with your spirit.
   Yours in his sweet lord Jesus,  S.R.