Rutherford Revised (294)

294. To my Lady Boyd  From St. Andrews

 (See letters (77,78,107,210,232,245,277)

Madam, - I received your letter; but because I was still going through the country for the affairs often church, I had no time to answer i.
   I never had more cause to fear than I have now, when my Lord has restored me to my second created heaven on earth, and had turned my perceived fears and joys, and great deliverance to His church, of which I have my share and part. Alas that weeping prayers answered and sent back from heaven with joy, should not have laughing praises! Oh that this land would repent, and lay burdens of praises on the top of the fair Mount Zion! Madam, unless this land is humbled, a Reformation is rather my wonder than belief, at this time. But surely it must be a wonder, and what is done already is a wonder. Our Lord must restore beauty to His churches without payment; for we are sold without money, and now our buyers repent of the bargain, and would gladly give again cheaper than they bought us. They devoured Jacob and eat up His people as bread; and now Jacob is growing a living child in this womb, and they would be glad to be delivered of the child, and give birth. Our Lord will be midwife. Oh that this land not be like Ephraim,'An unwise son who stays too long in the place of birth!' You Ladyship is blessed with children who are honoured to build up Christ's waste place again. I believe your Ladyship will think them well given to that work, and Zion's beauty is your joy. This is a mark and evidence form heaven, which helps weak ones to hold their grip, when other marks fail them.
   I hope your Ladyship is at a good understanding with Christ, and as is fitting for a Christian, you take Him up properly; for many mistake and misshape Christ in His comings and goings. Your wants and falls proclaim you have nothing of your own but what you borrow; no, you are not your own, but Christ has given himself to you. Put Christ in  the bank and heaven will be your interest and income. Love Him for you cannot love Him too much. Take up house in Christ. Let Him live in you and you in Him; and then you can look out of Christ, and laugh at the clay heavens the sins of men are seeking after on this side of he water. Christ wants to make your losses grace's great advantage. Christ will lose nothing of you; no, not even your sins, for he has a use for them, as well as for your service; though you loathe yourself for these. I hope you fetch all the heavens you have in this life, from that which is up above, and your achor is cast as high and deep as Christ.  (Oh but it is far and many a mile to the bottom!) If I had known long since, as I do now,  (though still alas I am ignorant), what was in Christ, I would not have been so late in starting  on the way to seek him. Oh what can I do or say to Him who has made the North give me back again! A grave is no sure prison to Him for keeping dry bones. Wo is me, that my foolish sorrow and unbelief, being on horseback, did so proudly and foolishly ride over my Lord's providence! But when my faith was asleep, Christ was awake; and now when I am awake, I say he did all things well. O infinite wisdom! O incomparable lovingkindness! Alas that the heart I have is so little and worthless for such a Lord as Christ is! Oh what odds do the saints find in hard trials, when  they feel sap at their roots, between them and sunburnt, withered professors! Crosses and storms make them lose their flowers and leaves. Poor worldlings, what will you do when the span length of your forenoon's laughter has ended, and when the weeping side of providence is turned to you?
   I put all the favours you have given my brother on Christ's score; in whose books are many such counts, and who will repay them. I wish you to be built more and more on the stone laid in Zion, and then you will be more fit to have a hand in rebuilding our Lord's fallen tent in this land; in which you will find great peace when you come to grips with death, the king of terrors.
   The God of peace be with your Ladyship, and keep you blameless until the day of our Lord Jesus.
   You Ladyship's, at all obedience in his sweet Lord and Master,  S.R.