Rutherford Revised (257)

257. To the Lady Craighall    From Aberdeen Sep 10 1637

Honourable and Christian Lady, - Grace, mercy and peace be to you - I can only write to your Ladyship of he sweet and glorious terms I am in with the most joyful King that ever was, under his well thriving and prosperous cross. It is my Lord's salvation, wrought by His one right hand, that the water does not suffocate the breath of hope, and joyful courage in the Lord Jesus; for His own person is still in the camp with His poor soldier. I see that the cross is tied by Christ's hand to the end of an honest profession. We are only fools to endeavour to loose Chris's knot. Then I consider  the comforts of God, I dare not consent to sell or mortgage my short life rent the cross of the Lord Jesus. I know that Christ bought with His own blood a right to sancified and blessed crosses, in so far as they blow me over the water to my long desired home: and it is not good that Christ is the buyer and I the seller. I know that time and death will make sufferings fairly off my hand. I hope we will have an honest parting at night, when this cold and frosty afternoon tide land, my evil and rough day will be over. My soul is well in either sweet or sour, that Christ has any part or portion in: if he is at one end of it, it will be well with me. I will die before I libel faults against Christ's cross. It will have my testimonial under my hands, an honest and saving way of Christ for mortification and fair growth. I have a stronger assurance since I came over the Fort, of the excellency of Jesus than I had before. I am more about Him him than in Him, while I am absent from Him in this house of clay. But I would be in heaven for no other cause than to try and test what boundless joy it must be to be head over ears in my Well-Beloved Christ's love. Oh that fair One has my heart for evermore! But alas, it is too little for Him! Oh if I was better and more worthy for His sake! Oh, if I might  meet with Him, face to face this side of eternity, and might have permission to plead with Him, that I am so hungry and starving here with the miserly part of His love that He gives me! Oh that I might be the carver and server myself at my own will, of Christ's love (if I may lawfully wish this!); then I would enlarge my container (alas, a narrow and low soul), and take in a sea of His love. My hunger for it is hungry and lean, in believing I will ever be satisfied with that love: so I would rather have what I know I cannot hold. Oh Lord Jesus, do you delight, do you delight to pine and torment poor souls with the lack of your incomparable love? Oh  if I dare call your disposition, cruel! I know that You, Yourself are mercy, without top or bottom; I know You are a God full to the top with mercy and love; but oh, alas little of it comes my way. I die to look afar off to that love, because I can get only a little of it. But hope says, 'This Providence will look more favourably on poor bodies,' and on me also. Grace be with your Ladyship's spirit. 
   Your Ladyship's, in his sweet Lord Jesus,  S.R.