Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Confessions of a Bipolar

On THURSDAY, AUGUST 12, 2010 I blogged on Cyclothymia,

He is manic depressive.
You are bipolar.
I am cyclothymic.

Since I wrote that I had an 'up' until October which was five happy months after five miserable ones. Next came an even worse down lasting over 8 months. Neither antidepressant nor CBT got me out of it. But now I have been diagnosed as clinically bipolar and await lithium therapy I am a happy man again. 'He drew me out of the miry pit'

The decline into depression was over a couple of months. Work triggered it. We has a holiday in the north with poor weather and on my return I had some staffing problems so extra work in a job where I was finding little delight and increasing frustration. Things started to slip. I was less active, more anxious. It culminated around Christmas, or should I say troughed. As a measure of how miserable I was I did not go out and buy any presents. I did not even want to go out and buy drinks for the season. I was back on antidepressant and a higher dose. It seemed to be of no help. Neither was CBT any real help except that it gave some hope of improvement. I was in the pit for eight months,

I write this after a month on the up. What brought the up? I can tell you what co-incided with it but whether his is causal is another mater. I has two weeks' holiday. I was not even looking forward to it. At he start we had some days with visitors from California, a young married couple who are a lot of fun. We visited Bath, Warwick and Westminster. Then I did a last minute booking to a self catering place in Shropshire and had a good three days there. On the Sunday we worshipped in a village where the pastor is a friend and we have known his wife for 37 years. She is a geriatrician and psychiatrist. Over lunch I told some of my up and down story and she asked f I had been seen by a psychiatrist for I am in her judgment bipolar and may benefit from lithium therapy. So back home I asked my GP for a referral and now await the appointment. So a bipolar diagnosis has made me happy? Causality or co-incidence? I reckoned my depression was work related. Te situation has not really improved but my attitude has dramatically changed. Methinks there is something chemical here, not merely mind but matter too. We shall see.

More to follow soon, D.V..

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