I have written about bipolar disorder on my blog. Look on AUGUST 12, 2010 also 7 and 11 Aug 2011. 10 and 15 Sept 2011 I give some excerpts from my diaries Dec 2010 to Feb 2011. After that you will see fewer posts to my blog. I did keep posting on the troubles in Nigeria but there were several months with no posts at all. This is an indicator of my depression.
What happened was that reaching 65 in 2011 I did not retire but reduced to working only four days a week. I hoped to reduce more each year but my mental health was such that when I reached 66 I retired from pharmacy. I had always thought that in retirement I would stay registered and do some locums but it was not to be. I has found that my cyclothymia was too much and pharmacy no longer had any attraction whatsoever. Autumn 2009 was the start of two continuous long cycles of a year each, depressed in the darker months, better in summer. So in early 2010 I did what I had always resisted, went to my GP, told him the problem and he gave me a prescription for citalopram 20mg, an antidepressant. In the summer my mood was fine. I stopped the tablets with no ill effect. When the dark months came it was worse than ever. Back to the doctor who doubled to dosage and recommended Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, CBT. I knew about this counselling and believed I could apply Christian principles to it. I had a few sessions but felt no better until the summer came when I declined more CBT.
Then on holiday that summer we lunched at the home of an old friend. I knew she was a geriatrician. Now I found out she was a psychiatrist too. I recounted my experiences to her. Straightaway she asked if I had ever seen a psychiatrist or had lithium, the medication for bipolar. I has not but after the holiday I asked my doctor to be referred to a psychiatrist. I found the specialist to be sympathetic. He listened well but gave little counsel. To cut the story short I have finished up on three drugs. First was valproic acid, not lithium as the latter requires regular blood tests which would have been very inconvenient while still in full time work. I found that this drug does indeed smooth out the waves of ups and downs but it removes the higs and the deep, deep downs but it leaves one below par. Over the months, to relive the deprssion I was but on a low dose of quietapine and a high dose of sertraline. I had over a year of psychiatric appointments the he signed me off into the care of the GP. I also had over a year of regular counselling sessions with psychologists. I did not think this was a noticeable lift but the good piece of advice was to get active in the local University of the Third Age (U3A) .
My last winter as a pharmacist was awful. I struggled on despite my doctor offering to write down as too sick to work. I was very depressed so in February 2012 I gave in my notice. My employer did not even bothered to acknowledge it and when my three month's notice period was up I left the job I had been in for 13 years (my longest ever in one place) without even a thank you card from the firm.
As a reaction to this depression and work in a profession I had come to dislike, a profession where one is bound to fixed hours, where if you are away from work you have to find a locum, I did not want to take on commitments with a fixed schedule. But I had my responsibilities are an elder in our church and I soon found opportunity for regular preaching, two or three times a month at the Harmonsworth Immigration Removal Centre near Heathrow. The chaplain there enlisted me as a volunteer. Security clearance was demanding but now I minister to any of the Christians among the 600 plus detainees.
This summer, things have been the best since 2011. I have got back on this blog and Facebook. My reading has picked up from an endless diet of fiction. Next I plan to start some regular voluntary work at the Evangelical Library. I have reduced the dose of antidepressant and booked a holiday. Last year I could not be bothered to book.
Many people, especially Christians, will refuse to seek medical help. I did it for years. I now think I was mistaken. It was wrong. So I end wtih the the best words I have come across on this topic.
"... we have to face the fact that there are certain emotional disorders for which it is our responsibility before God to accept medication because these disorders have, if not an organic base, at least an organic dimension. For example, there are forms of depression which If the alternative is misery for those whom we live an incapacity for the work to which God has called us, then it is our responsibility before God to manage our temperaments through these medications. yield very readily to chemical control. It is dishonouring to God and cruel to dependants to refuse to accept such medication on the basis of the arrogant principle, 'I do not take drugs.' "A Faith to Live By, Donald MacLeod, p99.
Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Observations in the third month of my diary of a eight month down 11 January to 12 February
11/1 Sleeping pattern still disturbed by anxiety but awoke in good spirits for the first time in over two months. But again down with lethargy all day. Considering will I reduce my hours or retire in May when 65.?
12/1 Really bad day at work with anxiety and no peace. Questioning my own professional competence. Housegroup encouraging with a new family. I need to trust the promises that the peace of God will keep my heart and mind in Christ Jesus.
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13/1 Using phi4:7 to fend off anxiety. I have in the past used Scripture memorisation to keep an otherwise anxious mind occupied. I would spend half an hour of my lunchtime walking round the park learning memory verses. However, this down is such i have no desire for the walking, merely wanting to sleep at lunchtime.
14/1 Busy at work and keeping going despite anxiety and lethargy. One merely does what one has to and no more. So I avoid even emails.
15/1 Late up Tacked backlog of correspondence before visiting old friends who on hearing of my depression were keen to pray which was an encouragement.
16/1 A better day at church with less anxiety but not encouraged to be told my tambourine continues to be banned as it is not appreciated. Is there a secret Pentecostal in me rebelling against my Presbyterian environment?
17/1 Terrible tiredness all the time.
18/1 Not so tired but still down. Enquired from professional HR people as the the legal position with new legislation on retire,emt. I cannot be forced to retire at 65 but part time work is unclear.
19/1 GP put me on citalopram 40mg and offered a sick note which I declined saying I needed to work through the depression, not to be disabled by it.
20/1 Work a big battle with depression. Lethargic and miserable. Contacted pharmacist counselling helpline. The 'listening pharmacist' service advises I talk to my boss about the problem. I have no contact with him except when one or the other of us has a problem. He is merely the director I link with for the board.
21/1 My staff say I should think carefully before approaching the boss. They do not want me to retire.
22/1 The weekends are no better than work days as with the latter there are tasks i must do and at the weekend I can procrastinate and be idle. But did some emails and sermon preparation on Job, a man with whom I can identify. At least I have a wife who is a help.
23/1Day of stupid irrational anxiety. Not keeping to 'sufficient to the day" as I know I should but the worries seem to have a life of their own beyond rational command. Sermon went well in the evening.At least in the Immigration removal centre I can have a good bang of the tambourine.
24/1 Bad day with negative feelings. One rises with no joy and try to take delight in doing the simplest tasks in the home before work The journey is a time of anxiety about the day ahead and so it goes on until the journey to home, food and rest. Sleep is the happy time.
25/1 One of my GP colleagues encouraged me to resume walking the park at lunchtime. I did and felt some better for it but I am not as fit as last year.
26/1 Awoke tired from the walking. Struggled in the morning. Shorter lunchtime walk. My assistant insisted I do it,
27/1 Bad start and surprisingly I did better after tackling an audit forced on me. It is a stupidly unrealistic one on lithium patients. In the real world there is not the time for such box ticking. I hate the whole mentality of pharmacy supervision which does not trust professionals to behave responsibly without nit picking supervision by jobsworths.
28/1 A better day from the start and a good chat with one of the directors who is very sympathetic and supportive.
29/1 Weekends are worse than work. Why down from the start. Struggled to arrange vehicle insurance.
30/1 Down start to Sunday. Not relieved by morning service. I go with prayerful desire for blessing but find it hard to concentrate and stay awake. Better later in the day.
31/1 Work seams busy but the figures suggest it is more my fatigued perception than reality. GP suggests self referral for CBT and I agree,
1/2 Another struggle day at work. One finds it impossible to give a cheery answer when customers ask how one is.
2/2 Some better as I tackled the pointless tack of the NHS Information Governance assessment. A total waste of time devised by bums on seats who live in Whitehall not the real world.
3/2 Another tired day. I have given up on lunchtime walks.
4/2 Work a bit chaotic due to a visitor and all this IG rubbish to do.I have to persuade my staff that the pointless form filling must be done.
5/2 Surprised myself by taking my own weekend time to do this IG crap. There is the minimalist satisfacion of accomplishing something even though it is a pointless exercise.
6/2 Really bad Sunday falling asleep in sermon I wanted to hear. Katy angry that I am dopey when at home falling asleep when watching TV with her. But sleep is better than TV.
7/2 Down start as usual with some improvement as day goes on.
8/2 Hard start but improved as day went on and in the evening I told the pharmacist helpline I was some better.Usual down start and a miserable ride to work
9/2 Really very tired but my assistant insisted I walk out to the park lunchtime. But I really feel I do not have the energy for it.
10/2 Not so tired but lethargic and no walking.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Observations in the second month of my diary of a eight month down 11 Dec to 10 January
11/12 A struggle to start on Christmas cards. I was to avoid all present buying and even had no desire to buy the Christmas drinks. Have put off purchases like next season's cricket tickets. Put myself back on the citalopram 20 mg I had left over from the last down. No real enjoyment being off work and no delight when at work.
12/12 Drove to Chelmsford to preach twice. Preaching was not a problem but very anxious about getting there on time and finding parking.
13/12 Getting up later now as no desire for things and always weary. Normal is 6 to 6:30. Now I get up as late as I can. I still keep up my devotions but find little encouragement. I know what is objectively spiritually true but do not feel comfort.
14/12 My one remaining delight is eating and drinking but no desire to eat out. Lunchtime I eat then snooze. No longer enjoy my web and emails. Not doing daily mailing of quotes.
15/12 Parked my car to get a take away, came back and it was gone. Reported to police and insurance.
16/12 Depressed at loss of car. No news from police or insurers.
17/12 Lifted by church men's Christmas party with good food, beer and games.
18/12 Down but lifted by carol singing with church outside Sainsburys in the snow.
19/12 Anxious day. Snow stopped us using the university building for morning srvice and reduced our numbers at the annual evening carol service.
20/12 On my way to work found my 'stolen' car in the road next to the one where I thought I had left it. Covered in snow but no parking tickets despite four days' illegal parking. Spirits lifted. Now feel a happy old fool.
21/12 Better mood but soon tired. Tiredness dogs me when down. Am I tired because down or down because tired? Certainly want none of the daily exercise I did in my last depression.
22/12 More down. When I get up I will make an effort to list things for which I am thankful. But counting blessings does not make me feel blessed. Emotional dissonance. You tell yourself things are good. I do not feel it.
23/12 Down, anxious, stressed. I feel I am not coping with work but my senior assistant says I am doing OK.
24/12 If one is anxious one wonders should one stay in bed and worry or rise and be miserable.
25/12 Managing to be unhappy on the best day of the year. Sermon, lunch, presents and a game of Cluedo helped a little.
26/12 In the last Ashes series down under I was rising early to watch poor England performances. Now we are doing well and I am not interested in rising early to watch them. Miserarable. Anxious about work so not limiting myself to one day at a time. Not even enjoying my food. Anxious travelling to preach at Harmonsworth.
27/12 Struggling day. Found it hard to go out and swap faulty present. A new board game lifted spirits.
28/12 Encouraged by messages from US friends who also struggle with depression.
29/12 Back to work and very anxious as to whether I was coping. My staff reassure me all is well. But I am very lethargic making it all a struggle. There is no delight in one's toil.
30/12 Over anxious but determined to work through it and did without delight.
31/12 Encouraged at only having to plough through haf a day's work before the holiday away.
1/1 With the family but anxious and little enjoyment.
2/1 A sound but unwelcoming Anglican service. Day spoiled by anxiety over work from which I am on holiday. Enough anxiety for stomach pain.
3/1 Down and a struggle to do necessary tasks around the house and emails too. No delight.
4/1 Hard to work but struggle on. I drive to work dreading the day and come home relieved it is over. Only sleep is pleasure.
5/1 Very tired. Lunchtime walk to park but I think such activity makes me even more tired. One is told that physical activity is antidepressive therapy but I fear it makes me more tired.
6/1 A measure of how far down I am is that when offered a free ticket to Arsenal v Leeds in the cup, and a lift there, I am in two minds about going but do accept the kind offer.
7/1 Winning the Ashes did not lift me from my struggles with work. Sleep only at lunchtime. No energy or will to do otherwise. I cannot say the citalopram has any effect.
8/1 Very down but lifted a little by seeing Leeds holding Arsenal to an unexpected draw. Emirates better than the team that plays there.
9/1 Another hard day. Work may have got me down but I am no beter away from it so wonder at the wisdom od advice offered to consider retirement. When I think of it I wonder about our finances and worry, In church I want to pay attention and be blessed but the wretched tiredness robs me of most of the sermons. Good friends to lunch but little or no joy.
10/1 Usual hrd start to the day but lifted in the evening by the visit of old friends from Argentina. Are my downs related to setting my standards too high and being too critical of myself. Other people generally have a much better opinion of me. They do not see the failure which I do and am.
This second month does not really convey the misery except for markers like no joy at Christmas nor over the offer of a free ticket to top level football. Anxiety was the boa constrictor squeezing the black dog. My assistant apologised for Mr Chartwell as my Christmas present. They had bought it before I was so down. It is an excellent first novel exploring depression in the life of Churchill and a contemporary.
Thursday, September 01, 2011
Observations in the first month of my diary of a eight month down 8 Nov to 9 Dec 2010
Now I am up I am prepared to write about down. When I am down all I want to do is sleep. So let me peruse my diary from November 2010 and see how after our return from a very wet north country holiday I slipped into the pit. I am doing this because no condition is permanent and this will be faced again though this time perhaps with a better drug to help. These observations are with the aid of my daily diary which I have kept on and off since 1968. The off bits coincide with past down times but now I am disciplined enough to do daily diary and devotions even when down.
8/11 Back to work. One staff short so first downer is increased work load.
9/11 Encouraged by an appreciative customer but not by sick staff as well as holidaying one.
11/11 A struggle to find any delight in my toil except to find one customer has been a Church Army worker.
14/11 Irritated by petty hygiene rules affecting church pot luck cooking.
15/11 One staff back, another now off so work still a struggle.
16/11 Work a battle with depression. I hate all these stupid records I am supposed to keep and do not. They are a waste of time.
18/11 I have to investigate how a locum failed to spot a doctor prescribing an overdose. This only came to light though a jobsworth sticking their snout in. No harm was done.
20-21/11 Weekend is no more a help than work. No longer want to rise early, only as late as possible.
22/11 Staff all present but one not fit so I still have extra to do.
23/11 Put myself back on citalopram 20mg as I had some left over from earlier in the year. Cheered by US visitors staying with us.
24/11 Work is a boring struggle.
25/11 Sick staff mean extra work which gets me down. This has been a bad time since the holiday.
26/11 One staff off again. I need more staff to do the work not fewer.
27/11 Once again weekend brings no relief from the depression.
28/11 Struggle to stay awake and attentive in church. I want the blessing but do not feel it.
29/11 Snoozing lunchtime and after dinner. No desire to exercise. In fact I fear that exercise would aggravate my weariness.
30/11 Not sleeping well at night probably because too much sleep in the day.
1/12 Short of staff again. Miserable and tired.
2/12 Half bottle of Glenfiditch from a customer did not really cheer me. Doing less on the net now. It has been observed that my frequency of blogging reflects my mood. The trend is downward.
3/12 Down. Struggle. no joy. Minimal activity so at home watch TV only.
4/12 Anxiety is now added to depression.Am I coping at work. I am not enjoying weekends as I find no fulfilling tasks.
5/12 Two good sermons did not lift me. Only felt better when I finished off the left over communion wine. Wine that gladdens the heart.However I learned a long time ago that troubles are not soluble in alcohol so am not in danger of going down the boozy route for relief.
6/12 Off work for cryotherapy on finger wart. Did not persevere with CPD study at home. I resent having to prove my fitness to work by having to make records of study. However I am anxious that I will have my study records examined and pronounced illegible and/ot inadequate.
7/12 England's continued Ashes success does not lift me out of my darkness.All is a dozy struggle. Nothing lifts.
8/12 Cold and miserable with Katy angry I cancelled housegroup as only three of us would be there.
9/12 "Battling depression all day and only doing tasks I have to do. I loathe this and cry out for it to be ended. The only pleasure is sleep.'
So this first month shows a downward slope aggravated by staff shortage and tiresome work. Anxiety starts too and being off work at the weekend brings no relief.
8/11 Back to work. One staff short so first downer is increased work load.
9/11 Encouraged by an appreciative customer but not by sick staff as well as holidaying one.
11/11 A struggle to find any delight in my toil except to find one customer has been a Church Army worker.
14/11 Irritated by petty hygiene rules affecting church pot luck cooking.
15/11 One staff back, another now off so work still a struggle.
16/11 Work a battle with depression. I hate all these stupid records I am supposed to keep and do not. They are a waste of time.
18/11 I have to investigate how a locum failed to spot a doctor prescribing an overdose. This only came to light though a jobsworth sticking their snout in. No harm was done.
20-21/11 Weekend is no more a help than work. No longer want to rise early, only as late as possible.
22/11 Staff all present but one not fit so I still have extra to do.
23/11 Put myself back on citalopram 20mg as I had some left over from earlier in the year. Cheered by US visitors staying with us.
24/11 Work is a boring struggle.
25/11 Sick staff mean extra work which gets me down. This has been a bad time since the holiday.
26/11 One staff off again. I need more staff to do the work not fewer.
27/11 Once again weekend brings no relief from the depression.
28/11 Struggle to stay awake and attentive in church. I want the blessing but do not feel it.
29/11 Snoozing lunchtime and after dinner. No desire to exercise. In fact I fear that exercise would aggravate my weariness.
30/11 Not sleeping well at night probably because too much sleep in the day.
1/12 Short of staff again. Miserable and tired.
2/12 Half bottle of Glenfiditch from a customer did not really cheer me. Doing less on the net now. It has been observed that my frequency of blogging reflects my mood. The trend is downward.
3/12 Down. Struggle. no joy. Minimal activity so at home watch TV only.
4/12 Anxiety is now added to depression.Am I coping at work. I am not enjoying weekends as I find no fulfilling tasks.
5/12 Two good sermons did not lift me. Only felt better when I finished off the left over communion wine. Wine that gladdens the heart.However I learned a long time ago that troubles are not soluble in alcohol so am not in danger of going down the boozy route for relief.
6/12 Off work for cryotherapy on finger wart. Did not persevere with CPD study at home. I resent having to prove my fitness to work by having to make records of study. However I am anxious that I will have my study records examined and pronounced illegible and/ot inadequate.
7/12 England's continued Ashes success does not lift me out of my darkness.All is a dozy struggle. Nothing lifts.
8/12 Cold and miserable with Katy angry I cancelled housegroup as only three of us would be there.
9/12 "Battling depression all day and only doing tasks I have to do. I loathe this and cry out for it to be ended. The only pleasure is sleep.'
So this first month shows a downward slope aggravated by staff shortage and tiresome work. Anxiety starts too and being off work at the weekend brings no relief.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Back to cyclothymia.
He is manic depressive.
You are bipolar.
I am cyclothymic.
According to my new local psychiatrist I am cyclothymic not bipolar for I have not been so afflicted as to stop working. Methinks this nomenclature is a mere linguistic judgement rather than a reflection of an objective reality. After all what is a diagnosis of schizophrenia other than saying the person concerned has a certain set of symptoms? You are what you are. You are not necessarily on the inside what some 'expert' labels your can.
I was asked why I had gone so many years without seeking the help of his profession.
1. Pride and stigma. One should be able to cope. One is not mentally ill.
2. Lack of trust in psychiatry, especially advice from a professional who does not understand the spiritual and treat the whole person. Also I had read that psychotherapy had no better clinical outcome than taking a placebo or doing nothing.
3.Pharmacists are adverse to drug taking. It is more blessed to give than to receive.. If you might be alcoholic it is best not to imbibe when working in a bar.
You are bipolar.
I am cyclothymic.
According to my new local psychiatrist I am cyclothymic not bipolar for I have not been so afflicted as to stop working. Methinks this nomenclature is a mere linguistic judgement rather than a reflection of an objective reality. After all what is a diagnosis of schizophrenia other than saying the person concerned has a certain set of symptoms? You are what you are. You are not necessarily on the inside what some 'expert' labels your can.
I was asked why I had gone so many years without seeking the help of his profession.
1. Pride and stigma. One should be able to cope. One is not mentally ill.
2. Lack of trust in psychiatry, especially advice from a professional who does not understand the spiritual and treat the whole person. Also I had read that psychotherapy had no better clinical outcome than taking a placebo or doing nothing.
3.Pharmacists are adverse to drug taking. It is more blessed to give than to receive.. If you might be alcoholic it is best not to imbibe when working in a bar.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Confessions of a Bipolar
On THURSDAY, AUGUST 12, 2010 I blogged on Cyclothymia,
He is manic depressive.
You are bipolar.
I am cyclothymic.
Since I wrote that I had an 'up' until October which was five happy months after five miserable ones. Next came an even worse down lasting over 8 months. Neither antidepressant nor CBT got me out of it. But now I have been diagnosed as clinically bipolar and await lithium therapy I am a happy man again. 'He drew me out of the miry pit'
The decline into depression was over a couple of months. Work triggered it. We has a holiday in the north with poor weather and on my return I had some staffing problems so extra work in a job where I was finding little delight and increasing frustration. Things started to slip. I was less active, more anxious. It culminated around Christmas, or should I say troughed. As a measure of how miserable I was I did not go out and buy any presents. I did not even want to go out and buy drinks for the season. I was back on antidepressant and a higher dose. It seemed to be of no help. Neither was CBT any real help except that it gave some hope of improvement. I was in the pit for eight months,
I write this after a month on the up. What brought the up? I can tell you what co-incided with it but whether his is causal is another mater. I has two weeks' holiday. I was not even looking forward to it. At he start we had some days with visitors from California, a young married couple who are a lot of fun. We visited Bath, Warwick and Westminster. Then I did a last minute booking to a self catering place in Shropshire and had a good three days there. On the Sunday we worshipped in a village where the pastor is a friend and we have known his wife for 37 years. She is a geriatrician and psychiatrist. Over lunch I told some of my up and down story and she asked f I had been seen by a psychiatrist for I am in her judgment bipolar and may benefit from lithium therapy. So back home I asked my GP for a referral and now await the appointment. So a bipolar diagnosis has made me happy? Causality or co-incidence? I reckoned my depression was work related. Te situation has not really improved but my attitude has dramatically changed. Methinks there is something chemical here, not merely mind but matter too. We shall see.
More to follow soon, D.V..
He is manic depressive.
You are bipolar.
I am cyclothymic.
Since I wrote that I had an 'up' until October which was five happy months after five miserable ones. Next came an even worse down lasting over 8 months. Neither antidepressant nor CBT got me out of it. But now I have been diagnosed as clinically bipolar and await lithium therapy I am a happy man again. 'He drew me out of the miry pit'
The decline into depression was over a couple of months. Work triggered it. We has a holiday in the north with poor weather and on my return I had some staffing problems so extra work in a job where I was finding little delight and increasing frustration. Things started to slip. I was less active, more anxious. It culminated around Christmas, or should I say troughed. As a measure of how miserable I was I did not go out and buy any presents. I did not even want to go out and buy drinks for the season. I was back on antidepressant and a higher dose. It seemed to be of no help. Neither was CBT any real help except that it gave some hope of improvement. I was in the pit for eight months,
I write this after a month on the up. What brought the up? I can tell you what co-incided with it but whether his is causal is another mater. I has two weeks' holiday. I was not even looking forward to it. At he start we had some days with visitors from California, a young married couple who are a lot of fun. We visited Bath, Warwick and Westminster. Then I did a last minute booking to a self catering place in Shropshire and had a good three days there. On the Sunday we worshipped in a village where the pastor is a friend and we have known his wife for 37 years. She is a geriatrician and psychiatrist. Over lunch I told some of my up and down story and she asked f I had been seen by a psychiatrist for I am in her judgment bipolar and may benefit from lithium therapy. So back home I asked my GP for a referral and now await the appointment. So a bipolar diagnosis has made me happy? Causality or co-incidence? I reckoned my depression was work related. Te situation has not really improved but my attitude has dramatically changed. Methinks there is something chemical here, not merely mind but matter too. We shall see.
More to follow soon, D.V..
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Cyclothymia
He is manic depressive.
You are bipolar.
I am cyclothymic.
This is how Wiki describes it.
'Dysthymic phase
Difficulty making decisions; problems concentrating; poor memory recall; guilt; self-criticism; low self-esteem; pessimism; self-destructive thinking; continuously feeling sad; apathy; hopelessness; helplessness; irritability; quick temper; lack of motivation; social withdrawal; appetite change; lack of sexual desire; self-neglect; fatigue or insomnia
Euphoric phase
Unusually good mood or cheerfulness (euphoria); Extreme optimism; Inflated self-esteem; Poor judgment; Rapid speech; Racing thoughts; Aggressive or hostile behavior; Being inconsiderate of others; Agitation; Increased physical activity; Risky behavior; Spending sprees; Increased drive to perform or achieve goals; Increased sexual drive; Decreased need for sleep; Tendency to be easily distracted; Inability to concentrate'
I confess to
Dysthymic phase
Difficulty making decisions; problems concentrating; poor memory recall; guilt feelings; self-criticism; low self-esteem; pessimism; self-destructive thinking; continuously feeling sad; apathy; hopelessness; helplessness; irritability; quick temper; lack of motivation; social withdrawal; ; self-neglect; fatigue and insomnia: anxiety.
Euphoric phase
Unusually good mood or cheerfulness (euphoria); optimism; good self-esteem; heightened judgment; loud speech; quick thought; confrontational behavior; danger of being inconsiderate of others; ; Increased activity; willing to spend; Increased drive to perform or achieve goals; Decreased need for sleep.
I first encountered depression aged 17 after my A level exams. I thought I had failed. In fact I had AAB plus an S distinction and S merit, the best marks in the school that year.
After a year out of academe working in pharmacy for my practical part of the degree I went up to London University and hit a terrible depression. I came out of it with a Christian faith which I had earlier doubted and a medics warning that I would always have problems. But there were no more for nine years. By that time I was a missionary in Borno, Nigeria, the married father of two boys. I doubted my ability to cope and was as low as one can get. I came out of it but from then, age 26, I believe the cylothymia set in. One alternated between depression and inactivity, then being very active.
Ups and downs continued and by the time I left missionary work age 36, I realised I really had a problem which would handicap me in any future full time pastoral type work. I would not have a structured work that forced me to be disciplined. i was free to let either mood take over.
In 1983 I returned to pharmacy work thinking I had failed in full time Christian ministry due to my personality. I had been out of pharmacy in England for 13 years. I managed various pharmacies, eight in ten years. I did not find it at all fulfilling. Work was a grind in which there was little delight. There was no intellectual challenge and I would have rather been doing something else to pay the bills. But pharmacy disciplined me to work when I did not feel like it. Job satisfaction was not there but in my church responsibilities as an elder and from 1986 to 1998 in local politics. I failed to climb the greasy pole and get to stand for parliament. I lost my seat on Ealing Council and then fell out with the Conservatives when they changed direction. By 1998 I had found my present pharmacy job which is as good as it gets in community pharmacy. I am this month completing my 12th year in post.
I have come to realise this is where God wants me to be for it disciplines me to keep going despite the downs and ups. This year i had five moths of my worst down ever. Now I have had a month up. I plan to write more about being cyclothymic.
I conclude by saying my treatment has all been self treatment until this year when I had a very short time on an antidepressant. Pharmacists tend to avoid drug taking. I have never been directed to a counsellor of any sort.
Years ago a Christian consultant physician friend who was not an elder said my personality rendered me unfit to be an elder. Fortunately another Christian consultant physician friend who was a fellow elder disagreed. I have been an elder for 33 years, 27 in our present church.
Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people. -Carl Jung
God deals us all differing hands of cards. What matters is not the hand, but how, by his grace, we play it.
The game of life is not so much in holding a good hand as playing a poor hand well. H. T. Leslie
The measure of our future success and happiness will not be the quality of the cards we are dealt by unseen hands, but the poise and wisdom with which we play them.`` Choose to play each hand to the best of your ability without wasting the time or energy it takes to complain about either the cards or the dealer or the often unfair rules of the game.`` Play both the winning and the losing hands as best you can, then fold the cards and ante up for the next deal! - Joe Klock, Like Klockwork: The Whimsy, Wit, and (sometime)Wisdom of a Key Largo Curmudgeon by Joe Klock
I only set the stage. You pull your own strings.- John Milton aka Satan, in Devil's Advocate 1997
We are responsible for actions performed in response to circumstances for which we are not responsible.- Allan Massie, A Question of Loyalties
I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. James Rhinehart
Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.
Some days are diamonds
Some days are stones
Sometimes the hard times won't leave me alone
Sometimes the cold wind blows a chill in my soul
Some days are diamonds, some days are stone.
Neil Diamond
The black dog I hope always to resist, and in time to drive, though I am deprived of almost all those that used to help me. When I rise my breakfast is solitary, the black dog waits to share it, from breakfast to dinner he continues barking, except that Dr Brocklesby for a little keeps him at a distance. Night comes at last, and some hours of restlessness and confusion bring me again to a day of solitude. What shall exclude the black dog from a habitation like this?-Samuel Johnson, Letter to Mrs Thrale, 28 June 1783, in R. W. Chapman (ed.) Letters of Samuel Johnson (1952) vol. 3 (on his attacks of melancholia; more recently associated with Winston Churchill, who used the phrase black dog when alluding to his own periodic bouts of depression)
Our every defence against Satan rests upon the power of Jesus Christ. Drawing upon that power, the Protestant Reformation itself a a mighty fortress. Luther also used more direct means of defence, such as cheerfulness, laughter, boisterousness, bawdiness,scorn, insults and obscenity. Everything active, assertive, earthy and good humoured fends off the depression on which the prince of darkness thrives. One of Luther's best defences was to go to bed with Katie. -J Russell The Prince of Darkness p 173
We are responsible for the effort, not the outcome.
We set the sail; God makes the wind.
None of us are responsible for all the things that happen to us, but we are responsible for the way we act when they do happen.
We cannot make events. Our business is wisely to improve them.
Samuel Adams (1722-1803)
We improve ourselves by victories over ourself. There must be contests, and we must win.-Edward Gibbon (1737-1794)
God of our life, there are days when the burdens we carry chafe our shoulders and weigh us down; when the road seems dreary and endless, the skies grey and threatening; when our lives have no music in them, and our hearts are lonely, and our souls have lost their courage. Flood the path with light, run our eyes to where the skies are full of promise; tune our hearts to brave music; give us the sense of comradeship with heroes and saints of every age; and so quicken our spirits that we may be able to encourage the souls of all who journey with us on the road of life, to Your honour and glory. -. Augustine
You are bipolar.
I am cyclothymic.
This is how Wiki describes it.
'Dysthymic phase
Difficulty making decisions; problems concentrating; poor memory recall; guilt; self-criticism; low self-esteem; pessimism; self-destructive thinking; continuously feeling sad; apathy; hopelessness; helplessness; irritability; quick temper; lack of motivation; social withdrawal; appetite change; lack of sexual desire; self-neglect; fatigue or insomnia
Euphoric phase
Unusually good mood or cheerfulness (euphoria); Extreme optimism; Inflated self-esteem; Poor judgment; Rapid speech; Racing thoughts; Aggressive or hostile behavior; Being inconsiderate of others; Agitation; Increased physical activity; Risky behavior; Spending sprees; Increased drive to perform or achieve goals; Increased sexual drive; Decreased need for sleep; Tendency to be easily distracted; Inability to concentrate'
I confess to
Dysthymic phase
Difficulty making decisions; problems concentrating; poor memory recall; guilt feelings; self-criticism; low self-esteem; pessimism; self-destructive thinking; continuously feeling sad; apathy; hopelessness; helplessness; irritability; quick temper; lack of motivation; social withdrawal; ; self-neglect; fatigue and insomnia: anxiety.
Euphoric phase
Unusually good mood or cheerfulness (euphoria); optimism; good self-esteem; heightened judgment; loud speech; quick thought; confrontational behavior; danger of being inconsiderate of others; ; Increased activity; willing to spend; Increased drive to perform or achieve goals; Decreased need for sleep.
I first encountered depression aged 17 after my A level exams. I thought I had failed. In fact I had AAB plus an S distinction and S merit, the best marks in the school that year.
After a year out of academe working in pharmacy for my practical part of the degree I went up to London University and hit a terrible depression. I came out of it with a Christian faith which I had earlier doubted and a medics warning that I would always have problems. But there were no more for nine years. By that time I was a missionary in Borno, Nigeria, the married father of two boys. I doubted my ability to cope and was as low as one can get. I came out of it but from then, age 26, I believe the cylothymia set in. One alternated between depression and inactivity, then being very active.
Ups and downs continued and by the time I left missionary work age 36, I realised I really had a problem which would handicap me in any future full time pastoral type work. I would not have a structured work that forced me to be disciplined. i was free to let either mood take over.
In 1983 I returned to pharmacy work thinking I had failed in full time Christian ministry due to my personality. I had been out of pharmacy in England for 13 years. I managed various pharmacies, eight in ten years. I did not find it at all fulfilling. Work was a grind in which there was little delight. There was no intellectual challenge and I would have rather been doing something else to pay the bills. But pharmacy disciplined me to work when I did not feel like it. Job satisfaction was not there but in my church responsibilities as an elder and from 1986 to 1998 in local politics. I failed to climb the greasy pole and get to stand for parliament. I lost my seat on Ealing Council and then fell out with the Conservatives when they changed direction. By 1998 I had found my present pharmacy job which is as good as it gets in community pharmacy. I am this month completing my 12th year in post.
I have come to realise this is where God wants me to be for it disciplines me to keep going despite the downs and ups. This year i had five moths of my worst down ever. Now I have had a month up. I plan to write more about being cyclothymic.
I conclude by saying my treatment has all been self treatment until this year when I had a very short time on an antidepressant. Pharmacists tend to avoid drug taking. I have never been directed to a counsellor of any sort.
Years ago a Christian consultant physician friend who was not an elder said my personality rendered me unfit to be an elder. Fortunately another Christian consultant physician friend who was a fellow elder disagreed. I have been an elder for 33 years, 27 in our present church.
Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people. -Carl Jung
God deals us all differing hands of cards. What matters is not the hand, but how, by his grace, we play it.
The game of life is not so much in holding a good hand as playing a poor hand well. H. T. Leslie
The measure of our future success and happiness will not be the quality of the cards we are dealt by unseen hands, but the poise and wisdom with which we play them.`` Choose to play each hand to the best of your ability without wasting the time or energy it takes to complain about either the cards or the dealer or the often unfair rules of the game.`` Play both the winning and the losing hands as best you can, then fold the cards and ante up for the next deal! - Joe Klock, Like Klockwork: The Whimsy, Wit, and (sometime)Wisdom of a Key Largo Curmudgeon by Joe Klock
I only set the stage. You pull your own strings.- John Milton aka Satan, in Devil's Advocate 1997
We are responsible for actions performed in response to circumstances for which we are not responsible.- Allan Massie, A Question of Loyalties
I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. James Rhinehart
Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.
Some days are diamonds
Some days are stones
Sometimes the hard times won't leave me alone
Sometimes the cold wind blows a chill in my soul
Some days are diamonds, some days are stone.
Neil Diamond
The black dog I hope always to resist, and in time to drive, though I am deprived of almost all those that used to help me. When I rise my breakfast is solitary, the black dog waits to share it, from breakfast to dinner he continues barking, except that Dr Brocklesby for a little keeps him at a distance. Night comes at last, and some hours of restlessness and confusion bring me again to a day of solitude. What shall exclude the black dog from a habitation like this?-Samuel Johnson, Letter to Mrs Thrale, 28 June 1783, in R. W. Chapman (ed.) Letters of Samuel Johnson (1952) vol. 3 (on his attacks of melancholia; more recently associated with Winston Churchill, who used the phrase black dog when alluding to his own periodic bouts of depression)
Our every defence against Satan rests upon the power of Jesus Christ. Drawing upon that power, the Protestant Reformation itself a a mighty fortress. Luther also used more direct means of defence, such as cheerfulness, laughter, boisterousness, bawdiness,scorn, insults and obscenity. Everything active, assertive, earthy and good humoured fends off the depression on which the prince of darkness thrives. One of Luther's best defences was to go to bed with Katie. -J Russell The Prince of Darkness p 173
We are responsible for the effort, not the outcome.
We set the sail; God makes the wind.
None of us are responsible for all the things that happen to us, but we are responsible for the way we act when they do happen.
We cannot make events. Our business is wisely to improve them.
Samuel Adams (1722-1803)
We improve ourselves by victories over ourself. There must be contests, and we must win.-Edward Gibbon (1737-1794)
God of our life, there are days when the burdens we carry chafe our shoulders and weigh us down; when the road seems dreary and endless, the skies grey and threatening; when our lives have no music in them, and our hearts are lonely, and our souls have lost their courage. Flood the path with light, run our eyes to where the skies are full of promise; tune our hearts to brave music; give us the sense of comradeship with heroes and saints of every age; and so quicken our spirits that we may be able to encourage the souls of all who journey with us on the road of life, to Your honour and glory. -. Augustine
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Karl Abraham - christiansquoting.org.uk
A considerable number of persons are able to protect themselves against the outbreak of serious neurotic phenomena only through intense work. --Karl Abraham (3 May 1877 – 25 December 1925) early German psychoanalyst, and a correspondent of Sigmund Freud, who called him his 'best pupil'
Monday, February 18, 2008
'Diana was pregnant' - Al Fayed
BBC says, "Mr Al Fayed says this is 'his moment' in court Diana, Princess of Wales, told Mohamed Al Fayed she was pregnant, the Harrods owner said at the inquest into her death and that of his son, Dodi. The claim came as he began his evidence at the Royal Courts of Justice. Mr Al Fayed has long maintained the princess and his son were murdered in a conspiracy involving the security services and the Duke of Edinburgh. He told the jury: "Diana told me on the telephone that she was pregnant. I am the only person they told." He added that French intelligence had helped British intelligence services to execute the murder. "
One has sympathy for any man losing a son but is he not exhibiting the symptons of an obsessive compulsive disorder like many conspiracy theorists?
One has sympathy for any man losing a son but is he not exhibiting the symptons of an obsessive compulsive disorder like many conspiracy theorists?
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Depression- christiansquoting.org.uk
Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.
There are many reasons why God would not want you. But don't worry. You're in good company.
- Moses stuttered.
-- David's armor didn't fit.
--- John Mark was rejected by Paul.
---- Hosea's wife was a prostitute.
----- Amos' only training was in the school of fig-tree pruning.
------ Jacob was a liar.
------- David had an affair.
-------- Solomon was too rich.
--------- Abraham was too old.
---------- David was too young.
----------- Timothy had ulcers.
------------ Peter was afraid of death.
------------- Lazarus was dead.
-------------- John was self-righteous.
--------------- Jesus was too poor.
-------------- Naomi was a widow.
------------- Paul was a murderer. So was Moses.
------------ Jonah ran from God.
----------- Miriam was a gossip.
---------- Gideon and Thomas both doubted.
--------- Jeremiah was depressed and suicidal.
-------- Elijah was burned out.
------- John the Baptist was a loudmouth.
------ Martha was a worry-wart
----- Mary was lazy.
---- Samson had long hair.
--- Noah got drunk.
-- Did I mention that Moses had a short fuse?
- So did Peter, Paul - well, lots of folks did.
But God doesn't require a job interview.
He doesn't hire and fire like most bosses, because He's more our Dad than our Boss.
He doesn't look at financial gain or loss.
He's not prejudiced or partial, not judging, grudging, sassy, or brassy, not deaf to our cry, not blind to our need.
As much as we try, God's gifts are free.
We could do wonderful things for wonderful people and still not be . . .Wonderful.
Satan says, "You're not worthy."
Jesus says, "So what? I AM."
Satan looks back and sees our mistakes.
God looks back and sees the cross.
He doesn't calculate what you did in '78. It's not even on the record.
Sure. There are lots of reasons why God shouldn't want us.
But if we are magically in love with Him, if we hunger for Him more than our next breath,
He'll use us in spite of who we are, where we've been, or what we look like.
Step out of your limitations into the illimitable nature of who God is.
Everyone thinks his own burden heavy.... French Proverb
If you are bitter at heart, sugar in the mouth will not help you. Jewish proverb
Some days you're the pigeon; some days you're the statue. ~ Roger Anderson
Sorrow can be alleviated by good sleep, a bath and a glass of wine. Thomas Aquinas
God of our life, there are days when the burdens we carry chafe our shoulders and weigh us down; when the road seems dreary and endless, the skies grey and threatening; when our lives have no music in them, and our hearts are lonely, and our souls have lost their courage. Flood the path with light, run our eyes to where the skies are full of promise; tune our hearts to brave music; give us the sense of comradeship with heroes and saints of every age; and so quicken our spirits that we may be able to encourage the souls of all who journey with us on the road of life, to Your honour and glory. --. Augustine
One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself. Lucille Ball (1911-1989)
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.--Prov. 17:22
I am ashes where once I was fire. --Lord Byron [George Noel Gordon] (1788-1824) (To the Countess of Blessington, 1823)
I can have all the money and cars in the world and be unhappy. Once you find out that money and fame and success doesn't do it, where do you go then? That's a big dilemma. I had all those things: A beautiful wife, cars, a home, money, friends. All the things that you think a man could need and it didn't stop me drinking. I was depressed. I was suicidal. Eric Clapton
Some days are diamonds
Some days are stones
Sometimes the hard times won't leave me alone
Sometimes the cold wind blows a chill in my soul
Some days are diamonds, some days are stone.
Neil Diamond
And the best part of health is fine disposition. It is more essential than talent, even in the works of talent. Nothing will supply the want of sunshine to peaches, and, to make knowledge valuable, you must have the cheerfulness of wisdom. Whenever you are sincerely pleased, you are nourished. The joy of the spirit indicates its strength. All healthy things are sweet-tempered. Genius works in sport, and goodness smiles to the last; and, for the reason, that whoever sees the law which distributes things, does not despond, but is animated to great desires and endeavors. He who desponds betrays that he has not seen it....It is observed that a depression of spirits develops the germs of a plague in individuals and nations. Ralph Waldo Emerson, The Conduct of Life
He's turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable.Now he's miserable and depressed.- David Frost
Melancholy attends the best joys of an ideal life. --Margaret Fuller
A man used to vicissitudes is not easily dejected. --Samuel Johnson, Rasselas
Melancholy, indeed, should be diverted by every means but drinking. Boswell: Life of Johnson
No disease of the imagination ... is so difficult of cure as that which is complicated with the dread of guilt: fancy and conscience then act interchangeably upon us, and so often shift their places that the illusions of one are not distinguished from the dictates of the other. If fancy presents images not moral or religious, the mind drives them away when they give it pain; but when melancholic notions take the form of duty, they lay hold on the faculties without opposition, because we are afraid to exclude or banish them. For this reason the superstitious are often melancholy, and the melancholy almost always superstitious." - Samuel Johnson: Rasselas [the character Imlac]
Talking of constitutional melancholy, he observed, "A man so afflicted, Sir, must divert distressing thoughts, and not combat with them." Boswell: "May not he think them down, Sir?" Johnson: "No, Sir. To attempt to think them down is madness. He should have a lamp constantly burning in his bed chamber during the night, and if wakefully disturbed, take a book, and read, and compose himself to rest. To have the management of the mind is a great art, and it may be attained in a considerable degree by experience and habitual exercise.." Boswell: "Should not he provide amusements for himself? Would it not, for instance, be right for him to take a course of chymistry?" Johnson: "Let him take a course of chymistry, or a course of rope-dancing, or a course of any thing to which he is inclined at the time. Let him contrive to have as many retreats for his mind as he can, as many things to which it can fly from itself." - James Boswell: Life of Johnson
The black dog I hope always to resist, and in time to drive, though I am deprived of almost all those that used to help meWhen I rise my breakfast is solitary, the black dog waits to share it, from breakfast to dinner he continues barking, except that Dr Brocklesby for a little keeps him at a distanceNight comes at last, and some hours of restlessness and confusion bring me again to a day of solitude. What shall exclude the black dog from a habitation like this?
Samuel Johnson, Letter to Mrs Thrale, 28 June 1783, in R. W. Chapman (ed.) Letters of Samuel Johnson (1952) vol. 3 (on his attacks of melancholia; more recently associated with Winston Churchill, who used the phrase black dog when alluding to his own periodic bouts of depression)
Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people. --Carl Jung
No thoroughly occupied man was ever yet very miserable. Letitia Landon (1802-1838)
[Melancholy] falls upon a contented life, like a drop of ink on white paper, which is none the less a stain that it carries no meaning with it.
John Gibson Lockhart
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.
Henry W. Longfellow. 1807-1882. The Rainy Day
Depression is the inability to construct a future. --Rollo May
I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much. ~Spike Milligan
Believe not these suggestions, which proceed
From anguish of the mind, and humours black
That mingle with thy fancy.
John Milton. (1608 -1674). Samson Agonistes
Mirth, and even cheerfulness, when employed as remedies in low spirits, are like hot water to a frozen limb.-- Benjamin Rush (1746-1813)
Our every defence against Satan rests upon the power of Jesus Christ. Drawing upon that power, the Protestant Reformation itself a a mighty fortress. Luther also used more direct means of defence, such as cheerfulness, laughter, boisterousness, bawdiness,scorn, insults and obscenity. Everything active, assertive, earthy and good humoured fends off the depression on which the prince of darkness thrives. One of Luther's best defences was to go to bed with Katie. --J Russell The Prince of Darkness p 173
Sometimes one has simply to endure a period of depression for what it may hold of illumination if one can live through it, attentive to what it exposes or demands.- May Sarton
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Hamlet, Act III
Macbeth: Canst thou not minister to a mind diseased, pluck from the memory a rooted sorrow, Raze out the written troubles of the brain, and with some sweet oblivious antidote Cleanse the stuffed bosom of that perilous stuff Which weighs upon the heart?
Doctor: Therein the patient Must minister to himself.
Shakespeare., Macbeth
When you are depressed, the past and the future are absorbed entirely by the present, as in the world of a three-year-old. You can neither remember feeling better nor imagine that you will feel better…. Depression means that you have no point of view.-- Andrew Solomon, "Anatomy of Melancholy". The New Yorker. 12 Jan 1998
I wonder if anyone will ever know the emptiness of my life. Personal Diary - Last entry "Oh what's the point?"
Kenneth Williams
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. --Steven Wright
There are many reasons why God would not want you. But don't worry. You're in good company.
- Moses stuttered.
-- David's armor didn't fit.
--- John Mark was rejected by Paul.
---- Hosea's wife was a prostitute.
----- Amos' only training was in the school of fig-tree pruning.
------ Jacob was a liar.
------- David had an affair.
-------- Solomon was too rich.
--------- Abraham was too old.
---------- David was too young.
----------- Timothy had ulcers.
------------ Peter was afraid of death.
------------- Lazarus was dead.
-------------- John was self-righteous.
--------------- Jesus was too poor.
-------------- Naomi was a widow.
------------- Paul was a murderer. So was Moses.
------------ Jonah ran from God.
----------- Miriam was a gossip.
---------- Gideon and Thomas both doubted.
--------- Jeremiah was depressed and suicidal.
-------- Elijah was burned out.
------- John the Baptist was a loudmouth.
------ Martha was a worry-wart
----- Mary was lazy.
---- Samson had long hair.
--- Noah got drunk.
-- Did I mention that Moses had a short fuse?
- So did Peter, Paul - well, lots of folks did.
But God doesn't require a job interview.
He doesn't hire and fire like most bosses, because He's more our Dad than our Boss.
He doesn't look at financial gain or loss.
He's not prejudiced or partial, not judging, grudging, sassy, or brassy, not deaf to our cry, not blind to our need.
As much as we try, God's gifts are free.
We could do wonderful things for wonderful people and still not be . . .Wonderful.
Satan says, "You're not worthy."
Jesus says, "So what? I AM."
Satan looks back and sees our mistakes.
God looks back and sees the cross.
He doesn't calculate what you did in '78. It's not even on the record.
Sure. There are lots of reasons why God shouldn't want us.
But if we are magically in love with Him, if we hunger for Him more than our next breath,
He'll use us in spite of who we are, where we've been, or what we look like.
Step out of your limitations into the illimitable nature of who God is.
Everyone thinks his own burden heavy.... French Proverb
If you are bitter at heart, sugar in the mouth will not help you. Jewish proverb
Some days you're the pigeon; some days you're the statue. ~ Roger Anderson
Sorrow can be alleviated by good sleep, a bath and a glass of wine. Thomas Aquinas
God of our life, there are days when the burdens we carry chafe our shoulders and weigh us down; when the road seems dreary and endless, the skies grey and threatening; when our lives have no music in them, and our hearts are lonely, and our souls have lost their courage. Flood the path with light, run our eyes to where the skies are full of promise; tune our hearts to brave music; give us the sense of comradeship with heroes and saints of every age; and so quicken our spirits that we may be able to encourage the souls of all who journey with us on the road of life, to Your honour and glory. --. Augustine
One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself. Lucille Ball (1911-1989)
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.--Prov. 17:22
I am ashes where once I was fire. --Lord Byron [George Noel Gordon] (1788-1824) (To the Countess of Blessington, 1823)
I can have all the money and cars in the world and be unhappy. Once you find out that money and fame and success doesn't do it, where do you go then? That's a big dilemma. I had all those things: A beautiful wife, cars, a home, money, friends. All the things that you think a man could need and it didn't stop me drinking. I was depressed. I was suicidal. Eric Clapton
Some days are diamonds
Some days are stones
Sometimes the hard times won't leave me alone
Sometimes the cold wind blows a chill in my soul
Some days are diamonds, some days are stone.
Neil Diamond
And the best part of health is fine disposition. It is more essential than talent, even in the works of talent. Nothing will supply the want of sunshine to peaches, and, to make knowledge valuable, you must have the cheerfulness of wisdom. Whenever you are sincerely pleased, you are nourished. The joy of the spirit indicates its strength. All healthy things are sweet-tempered. Genius works in sport, and goodness smiles to the last; and, for the reason, that whoever sees the law which distributes things, does not despond, but is animated to great desires and endeavors. He who desponds betrays that he has not seen it....It is observed that a depression of spirits develops the germs of a plague in individuals and nations. Ralph Waldo Emerson, The Conduct of Life
He's turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable.Now he's miserable and depressed.- David Frost
Melancholy attends the best joys of an ideal life. --Margaret Fuller
A man used to vicissitudes is not easily dejected. --Samuel Johnson, Rasselas
Melancholy, indeed, should be diverted by every means but drinking. Boswell: Life of Johnson
No disease of the imagination ... is so difficult of cure as that which is complicated with the dread of guilt: fancy and conscience then act interchangeably upon us, and so often shift their places that the illusions of one are not distinguished from the dictates of the other. If fancy presents images not moral or religious, the mind drives them away when they give it pain; but when melancholic notions take the form of duty, they lay hold on the faculties without opposition, because we are afraid to exclude or banish them. For this reason the superstitious are often melancholy, and the melancholy almost always superstitious." - Samuel Johnson: Rasselas [the character Imlac]
Talking of constitutional melancholy, he observed, "A man so afflicted, Sir, must divert distressing thoughts, and not combat with them." Boswell: "May not he think them down, Sir?" Johnson: "No, Sir. To attempt to think them down is madness. He should have a lamp constantly burning in his bed chamber during the night, and if wakefully disturbed, take a book, and read, and compose himself to rest. To have the management of the mind is a great art, and it may be attained in a considerable degree by experience and habitual exercise.." Boswell: "Should not he provide amusements for himself? Would it not, for instance, be right for him to take a course of chymistry?" Johnson: "Let him take a course of chymistry, or a course of rope-dancing, or a course of any thing to which he is inclined at the time. Let him contrive to have as many retreats for his mind as he can, as many things to which it can fly from itself." - James Boswell: Life of Johnson
The black dog I hope always to resist, and in time to drive, though I am deprived of almost all those that used to help meWhen I rise my breakfast is solitary, the black dog waits to share it, from breakfast to dinner he continues barking, except that Dr Brocklesby for a little keeps him at a distanceNight comes at last, and some hours of restlessness and confusion bring me again to a day of solitude. What shall exclude the black dog from a habitation like this?
Samuel Johnson, Letter to Mrs Thrale, 28 June 1783, in R. W. Chapman (ed.) Letters of Samuel Johnson (1952) vol. 3 (on his attacks of melancholia; more recently associated with Winston Churchill, who used the phrase black dog when alluding to his own periodic bouts of depression)
Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people. --Carl Jung
No thoroughly occupied man was ever yet very miserable. Letitia Landon (1802-1838)
[Melancholy] falls upon a contented life, like a drop of ink on white paper, which is none the less a stain that it carries no meaning with it.
John Gibson Lockhart
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.
Henry W. Longfellow. 1807-1882. The Rainy Day
Depression is the inability to construct a future. --Rollo May
I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much. ~Spike Milligan
Believe not these suggestions, which proceed
From anguish of the mind, and humours black
That mingle with thy fancy.
John Milton. (1608 -1674). Samson Agonistes
Mirth, and even cheerfulness, when employed as remedies in low spirits, are like hot water to a frozen limb.-- Benjamin Rush (1746-1813)
Our every defence against Satan rests upon the power of Jesus Christ. Drawing upon that power, the Protestant Reformation itself a a mighty fortress. Luther also used more direct means of defence, such as cheerfulness, laughter, boisterousness, bawdiness,scorn, insults and obscenity. Everything active, assertive, earthy and good humoured fends off the depression on which the prince of darkness thrives. One of Luther's best defences was to go to bed with Katie. --J Russell The Prince of Darkness p 173
Sometimes one has simply to endure a period of depression for what it may hold of illumination if one can live through it, attentive to what it exposes or demands.- May Sarton
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Hamlet, Act III
Macbeth: Canst thou not minister to a mind diseased, pluck from the memory a rooted sorrow, Raze out the written troubles of the brain, and with some sweet oblivious antidote Cleanse the stuffed bosom of that perilous stuff Which weighs upon the heart?
Doctor: Therein the patient Must minister to himself.
Shakespeare., Macbeth
When you are depressed, the past and the future are absorbed entirely by the present, as in the world of a three-year-old. You can neither remember feeling better nor imagine that you will feel better…. Depression means that you have no point of view.-- Andrew Solomon, "Anatomy of Melancholy". The New Yorker. 12 Jan 1998
I wonder if anyone will ever know the emptiness of my life. Personal Diary - Last entry "Oh what's the point?"
Kenneth Williams
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. --Steven Wright
Democracy- christiansquoting.org.uk
Democracy is mob rule, but with income taxes.
Why don't more people vote? Is it ignorance or apathy?
I don't know, and I don't care.
It is bad to be oppressed by a minority, but it is worse to be oppressed by a majority. For there is a reserve of latent power in the masses which, if it is called into play, the minority can seldom resist. But from the absolute will of an entire people there is no appeal, no redemption, no refuge but treason. -- Lord Acton
A democracy is a government in the hands of men of low birth, no property, and vulgar employments. - Aristotle, Rhetoric, Independency
Universal suffrage is the most monstrous and iniquitous of tyrannies-because the force of numbers is most brutal, having neither courage nor talent. Paul Bourquet, Le Diciple, 1889
Your representative owes you, not his industry only, but his judgment; and he betrays, instead of serving you, if he sacrifices it to your opinion.--Edmund Burke to the voters of Bristol, 1774
To drive men from independence to live on alms, is itself great cruelty.
Edmund Burke Reflections on the Revolution in France, 1790
The devil was the first democrat. --Byron
If pigs could vote, the man with the slop bucket would be elected swineherd every time, no matter how much slaughtering he did on the side. --Orson Scott Card
The next time they give you all that civic bull.... about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election.- George Carlin
Many forms of government have been tried, and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of Government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time. -- Winston Churchill, House of Commons, 11 Nov. 1947
The best argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter. Winston Churchill
It is the besetting vice of democracies to substitute public opinion for law. This is the usual form in which the masses of men exhibit their tyranny. - James Fenimore Cooper
The tendency of democracies is, in all things, to mediocrity, since the tastes, knowledge, and principles of the majority form the tribunal of appeal.
James Fenimore Cooper
Nor is the people's judgement always true,
The most may err as grossly as the few."
John Dryden, _Absalom and Achitophel_
Perhaps the fact that we have seen millions voting themselves into complete dependence on a tyrant has made our generation understand that to choose one's government is not necessarily to secure freedom. -- F.A. Hayek
In each age it is necessary to adapt to the popular mythology. At one times kings were anointed by Deity, so the problem was to see to it that Deity anointed the right candidate. In this age the myth is 'the will of the people'.
Professor Bernardo de la Paz on recently elected congress, in "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress", by Robert Heinlein.
The Masses are Asses - Cornelious C. Janzen
That government is the strongest of which every man feels himself a part.--- Thomas Jefferson
Fifty-one percent of a nation can establish a totalitarian regime, suppress minorities and still remain democratic. -- Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn
..there are two opposite reasons for being a democrat. You may think all men so good that they deserve a share in the government of the commonwealth, and so wise that the commonwealth needs their advice. That is, in my opinion, the false, romantic doctrine of democracy. On the other hand, you may believe fallen men to be so wicked that not one of them can be trusted with any irresponsible power over his fellows. ----C. S. Lewis "Membership" Sobernost #31 (June 1945)
I am a democrat because I believe in the Fall of Man. I think most people are democrats for the opposite reason. A great deal of democratic enthusiasm descends from the ideas of people like Rousseau, who believed in democracy because they thought mankind so wise and good that everyone deserved a share in the government. The danger of defending democracy on these grounds is that they are not true....Mankind is so fallen that no man can be trusted with unchecked power over his fellows. Aristotle said that some people were only fit to be slaves. I do not contradict him. But I reject slavery because I see no men fit to be masters. CS Lewis
When the people have no tyrant, their own public opinion becomes one. Lord Lytton
.no man shall be admitted to the body politic but such as are members of some of the churches within the limits' of the colony. - The General Court of the Massachusetts Bay Colony 18 May 1631
Democracy is the art of running the circus from the monkey cage. -- H.L. Mencken
Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.--H.L. Mencken
Democracy is a form of religion; it is the worship of jackals by jackasses. -- H.L. Mencken
Public opinion is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God.--Mark Twain
The essence of democracy is not that everyone makes and administers laws but that lawgivers and rulers should be dependent on the people's will in such a way that they may be peaceably changed if conflict occurs.-- Ludwig von Mises
Democracy, which is a charming form of government, full of variety and disorder, and dispensing a sort of equality to equals and unequals alike.--Plato, The Republic. Book VIII. 558
Democracy: The substitution of election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few. --George Bernard Shaw
A democracy is a state in which the poor, gaining the upper hand, kill some and banish others, and then divide the offices among the remaining citizens equally, usually by lot.-- Plato, The Republic, VIII
Because in the oligarchical State they are disqualified and driven from office, and therefore they cannot train or gather strength; whereas in a democracy they are almost the entire ruling power, and while the keener sort speak and act, the rest keep buzzing about the bema and do not suffer a word to be said on the other side; hence in democracies almost everything is managed by the drones. -- Plato, "The Republic"
When 25 percent of the population believe the President should be impeached and 51 percent of the population believe in UFOs, you may or may not need a new President, but you definitely need a new population. -Harry Reasoner
"Senator, you have the vote of every thinking person!""
Adlai E. Stevenson called back ""That's not enough, madam, we need a majority
Enemies within are those who do not believe in the democratic system but who will use violence or intimidation - some means other than democracy - to attain their ends. - Margaret Thatcher, speaking on Channel 4 TV quoted in Brenda Maddox, Maggie the First Lady, p160
When Abraham Lincoln spoke in his famous Gettysburg speech of 1863 of 'government of the people, by the people, and for the people,' he gave the world a neat definition of democracy which has since been widely and enthusiastically adopted. But what he enunciated as a form of government was not in itself especially Christian, for nowhere in the Bible is the word democracy mentioned. Ideally, when Christians meet, as Christians, to take counsel together, their purpose is not (or should not be) to ascertain what is the mind of the majority but what is the mind of the Holy Spirit - something which may be quite different.
Nevertheless I am an enthusiast for democracy. And I take that position, not because I believe majority opinion is inevitably right or true - indeed no majority can take away God-given human rights - but because I believe it most effectively safeguards the value of the individual, and, more than any other system, restrains the abuse of power by the few. And that is a Christian concept.
Margaret Thatcher, speech to the Church of Scotland General Assembly, 21.5.88
How far would Moses have gone if he had taken a poll in Egypt?- Harry Truman
Public opinion is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God.--Mark Twain
From bondage to spiritual faith,from spiritual faith to great courage,
from great courage to liberty,
from liberty to abundance,
from abundance to selfishness,
from selfishness to complacency,
from complacency to dependency,
from dependency back into bondage.
Alexander Fraser Tytler ,Lord Woodhouselee (1748-1813), "The Decline and Fall of the Athenian Republic"
Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.--Oscar Wilde
The Bible is for the government of the people, by the people, and for the people. --John Wycliffe (ca.1330-1384)
The only way to settle questions of an ideological nature or controversial issues among the people is by the democratic method, the method of discussion, of criticism, of persuasion and education, and not by the method of coercion or repression. --Mao Ze-dong, "On the Correct Handling of Contradictions Among the People", 1957
Why don't more people vote? Is it ignorance or apathy?
I don't know, and I don't care.
It is bad to be oppressed by a minority, but it is worse to be oppressed by a majority. For there is a reserve of latent power in the masses which, if it is called into play, the minority can seldom resist. But from the absolute will of an entire people there is no appeal, no redemption, no refuge but treason. -- Lord Acton
A democracy is a government in the hands of men of low birth, no property, and vulgar employments. - Aristotle, Rhetoric, Independency
Universal suffrage is the most monstrous and iniquitous of tyrannies-because the force of numbers is most brutal, having neither courage nor talent. Paul Bourquet, Le Diciple, 1889
Your representative owes you, not his industry only, but his judgment; and he betrays, instead of serving you, if he sacrifices it to your opinion.--Edmund Burke to the voters of Bristol, 1774
To drive men from independence to live on alms, is itself great cruelty.
Edmund Burke Reflections on the Revolution in France, 1790
The devil was the first democrat. --Byron
If pigs could vote, the man with the slop bucket would be elected swineherd every time, no matter how much slaughtering he did on the side. --Orson Scott Card
The next time they give you all that civic bull.... about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election.- George Carlin
Many forms of government have been tried, and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of Government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time. -- Winston Churchill, House of Commons, 11 Nov. 1947
The best argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter. Winston Churchill
It is the besetting vice of democracies to substitute public opinion for law. This is the usual form in which the masses of men exhibit their tyranny. - James Fenimore Cooper
The tendency of democracies is, in all things, to mediocrity, since the tastes, knowledge, and principles of the majority form the tribunal of appeal.
James Fenimore Cooper
Nor is the people's judgement always true,
The most may err as grossly as the few."
John Dryden, _Absalom and Achitophel_
Perhaps the fact that we have seen millions voting themselves into complete dependence on a tyrant has made our generation understand that to choose one's government is not necessarily to secure freedom. -- F.A. Hayek
In each age it is necessary to adapt to the popular mythology. At one times kings were anointed by Deity, so the problem was to see to it that Deity anointed the right candidate. In this age the myth is 'the will of the people'.
Professor Bernardo de la Paz on recently elected congress, in "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress", by Robert Heinlein.
The Masses are Asses - Cornelious C. Janzen
That government is the strongest of which every man feels himself a part.--- Thomas Jefferson
Fifty-one percent of a nation can establish a totalitarian regime, suppress minorities and still remain democratic. -- Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn
..there are two opposite reasons for being a democrat. You may think all men so good that they deserve a share in the government of the commonwealth, and so wise that the commonwealth needs their advice. That is, in my opinion, the false, romantic doctrine of democracy. On the other hand, you may believe fallen men to be so wicked that not one of them can be trusted with any irresponsible power over his fellows. ----C. S. Lewis "Membership" Sobernost #31 (June 1945)
I am a democrat because I believe in the Fall of Man. I think most people are democrats for the opposite reason. A great deal of democratic enthusiasm descends from the ideas of people like Rousseau, who believed in democracy because they thought mankind so wise and good that everyone deserved a share in the government. The danger of defending democracy on these grounds is that they are not true....Mankind is so fallen that no man can be trusted with unchecked power over his fellows. Aristotle said that some people were only fit to be slaves. I do not contradict him. But I reject slavery because I see no men fit to be masters. CS Lewis
When the people have no tyrant, their own public opinion becomes one. Lord Lytton
.no man shall be admitted to the body politic but such as are members of some of the churches within the limits' of the colony. - The General Court of the Massachusetts Bay Colony 18 May 1631
Democracy is the art of running the circus from the monkey cage. -- H.L. Mencken
Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.--H.L. Mencken
Democracy is a form of religion; it is the worship of jackals by jackasses. -- H.L. Mencken
Public opinion is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God.--Mark Twain
The essence of democracy is not that everyone makes and administers laws but that lawgivers and rulers should be dependent on the people's will in such a way that they may be peaceably changed if conflict occurs.-- Ludwig von Mises
Democracy, which is a charming form of government, full of variety and disorder, and dispensing a sort of equality to equals and unequals alike.--Plato, The Republic. Book VIII. 558
Democracy: The substitution of election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few. --George Bernard Shaw
A democracy is a state in which the poor, gaining the upper hand, kill some and banish others, and then divide the offices among the remaining citizens equally, usually by lot.-- Plato, The Republic, VIII
Because in the oligarchical State they are disqualified and driven from office, and therefore they cannot train or gather strength; whereas in a democracy they are almost the entire ruling power, and while the keener sort speak and act, the rest keep buzzing about the bema and do not suffer a word to be said on the other side; hence in democracies almost everything is managed by the drones. -- Plato, "The Republic"
When 25 percent of the population believe the President should be impeached and 51 percent of the population believe in UFOs, you may or may not need a new President, but you definitely need a new population. -Harry Reasoner
"Senator, you have the vote of every thinking person!""
Adlai E. Stevenson called back ""That's not enough, madam, we need a majority
Enemies within are those who do not believe in the democratic system but who will use violence or intimidation - some means other than democracy - to attain their ends. - Margaret Thatcher, speaking on Channel 4 TV quoted in Brenda Maddox, Maggie the First Lady, p160
When Abraham Lincoln spoke in his famous Gettysburg speech of 1863 of 'government of the people, by the people, and for the people,' he gave the world a neat definition of democracy which has since been widely and enthusiastically adopted. But what he enunciated as a form of government was not in itself especially Christian, for nowhere in the Bible is the word democracy mentioned. Ideally, when Christians meet, as Christians, to take counsel together, their purpose is not (or should not be) to ascertain what is the mind of the majority but what is the mind of the Holy Spirit - something which may be quite different.
Nevertheless I am an enthusiast for democracy. And I take that position, not because I believe majority opinion is inevitably right or true - indeed no majority can take away God-given human rights - but because I believe it most effectively safeguards the value of the individual, and, more than any other system, restrains the abuse of power by the few. And that is a Christian concept.
Margaret Thatcher, speech to the Church of Scotland General Assembly, 21.5.88
How far would Moses have gone if he had taken a poll in Egypt?- Harry Truman
Public opinion is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God.--Mark Twain
From bondage to spiritual faith,from spiritual faith to great courage,
from great courage to liberty,
from liberty to abundance,
from abundance to selfishness,
from selfishness to complacency,
from complacency to dependency,
from dependency back into bondage.
Alexander Fraser Tytler ,Lord Woodhouselee (1748-1813), "The Decline and Fall of the Athenian Republic"
Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.--Oscar Wilde
The Bible is for the government of the people, by the people, and for the people. --John Wycliffe (ca.1330-1384)
The only way to settle questions of an ideological nature or controversial issues among the people is by the democratic method, the method of discussion, of criticism, of persuasion and education, and not by the method of coercion or repression. --Mao Ze-dong, "On the Correct Handling of Contradictions Among the People", 1957
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Books read in July 2006 (15)
1. They F*** You Up: How to Survive Family Lifeby Oliver James
The title comes from Larkin but the author tells us he has not followed the misogynist's advice of not having any kids himself. He does though believe that most of our problems in life come from dysfunctional nurture, not genetics. This is an encouraging message because it means we are all responsible beings who can work to reflect on the past and correct what is wrong.
There seems to be a lot of Freudian psychology here. I do not buy a lot of his analysis as it is full of generalisation. He says there are three conscience types then tells us one may have parts of more than one of them. My major criticism is that this is a totally secular approach devoid of any objective standards of morality by which counsellees may be told some conduct is morally wrong, not merely destructive.Hhe seems to assume we all will have multiple sexual partners. He is denigratory of Christian child rearing which will use corporal punishment. He offers practical advice on how to audit one's past and chance for a better future but I did not find any of his stuff personally applicable. I had a good upbringing by loving parents in a stable marriage. So did my wife and so have our children. All parents are dysfunctional but this book seems address to those with more dysfunction than some of us have experienced.Hhe does have fascinating insights into some famous personalities and I am left with a lot of sympathy for our heir to the throne. There is good information here on a lot of mental health problems.
2. Calvin: For Armchair Theologians by Christopher Elwood
The style is Calvin for Dummies but I guess such a title might breach Dummies' copywrite. This book is well written at a popular level and has delightful cartoons. The history, thought and theology of the great French reformer of Geneva are sympathetically related. Calvin is absolved of some of the many slanders by his detractors, though not that of having a very vehement forceful character. It would also have helped to have been informed that Calvin was not even a citizen of Geneva for most of his stay there let alone its demagogue. The inheritors of Calvin are fairly described though there are some glaring omissions like Cromwell, Covenanters and the Kuyperian tradition. The is one little niggle, a commitment to inclusive language, so using third person feminine pronouns where the masculine is usual. But I wholeheartedly recommend this as an introduction to Calvin.
3. Our Culture, What's Left of It: The Mandarins and the Masses by Theodore Dalrymple
Dalrymple has worked as a prison and hospital doctor in an English city with sizeable minority communities. He is also widely travelled. most of these articles were published in an American journal. Is a prophet still withour honour inhis own country?
The first part is twelve literary and artistic reviews, Great on Shakespeare and Gilray, scathing of most moderns, especially for what passes as art but sometimes is literally, shit. My only criticism here is that he has the popular misconception of Puritans as killjoys and Calvin as a theocratic despot, both views far from reality.
Fourteen more essays are on culture and politics. The welfare state has produced an underclass unable to help themselves out of dependency on a state which encourages dependency , Sexual license, irresponsibility, political correctness and the folly of multi-culturalism. The article on Italian corruption is a surprise. The idol of Dianna is toppled.Drugs must be kept under control. and sex put back under restraint. Honeyford is applauded as a prophet. The author like the Bradford schoolmaster sees Islam in need of change but I fear he is too optimistic on that account. One only has to read his next chapter on France. The horror of the Wests is recounted. All that is missing is his reflections on Shipman and some prescription for a better future. Fascinating but in general a pessimistic book.
4. Muslims and the State in Britain, France, and Germany (Cambridge Studies in Social Theory, Religion & Politics)
by Joel S. Fetzer & J Christopher Soper
Two academics in the USA have produced this study surveying the relationship of Muslims to the state in three European countries. They look at how these countries, England (and it is England only in the study not all the U.K.), France and Germany have accommodated Muslim practices since the huge growth in immigrant Muslim populations in the last 50 years. Particular attention is paid to religion in state schools and to mosque building. Their conclusion is that Muslims have been given more freedom to publicly express their faith in England where the Church of England is the established religion, than is the case in the other two countries. In France, strict state secularism has even banned Muslim dress in state schools. Germany is between the two. There Muslims would like the same state financing as the major churches enjoy.
This book is very limited in its scope.What is very evident but never discussed here is that with Islam, freedom of religion is very much a one way street. Muslims in the West rightly use all possible means to freely practice their faith in a way that Christians in Muslim countries simply cannot do. Also ignored is the loyalty question, Are European Muslims primarily loyal to the nation state or to the Muslim umma. There is no mention of Islamic aim to establish their way of life as that of all society.
This book is very academic and not a gripping read. One niggle, England is not theoretically Christian. Constitutionally it is Anglican. In reality, it is secular but with a more benign approach to faith than the French, laicite.
5. The Dragons of Expectation: Reality and Delusion in the Course of History by Robert Conquest
Conquest is an expert on Russia and Communism in the last century. His book is mainly written against those who are the leftist fellow travellers who have still not accepted the truth about the evils perpetrated by totalitarians in the last century. I did not find this an easy read. Conquest is an intellectual who warns well against the statism of the West, the growing centalisation of government and the ever expanding beaurocracies. His critique of the undemocratic E.U. is particularly astute.
6. A Throne in Brussels: Britain, the Saxe-Coburgs and the Belgianisation of Europe by Paul Belien
Paul Belien has written a fascinating account of how the Coburgs went from an impoverished dukedom to be the monarchs of four European countries. They still rule Belgium where the king has more power than any other European monarch. All the Coburg males, with one exception, Baudouin, have beem more goat than man as far as their promiscuity is concerned. One of the worst was Queen Victora's beloved Uncle Leoplod, who we are told was probably the real father of Albert as well as a paedophile. Had not Leopold's wife, the Hanoverian Princess Charlotte, died in childbirth, Leopold would have been prince consort, not Albert. One can be thankful he became king of the newly created Belgium instead. Belien gives a full history of this artificial country with perpetual tension between Flemings and Walloons, Dutch and French speakers. The account of Leopold II and his personal possession, the Belgian Congo, is horrific. Leopold III betrayed his country and surrendered to Hitler. Amazingly the Belgians voted to have him back afterwards. All the Coburg kings except Baudouin have not been servants of their countries but exploiters for personal enrichment. Belien sees the way Belgium is kept together and run to be a prototype for the E.U. superstate. Read this and be warned. At least I do not think a federal Europe would have a Coburg for king.
7. The West's Last Chance: Winning the Clash of Civilization by Tony Blankley
Blankley starts his book with a gripping nightmare scenario of Europe giving in the the demands of Islamists so precipitating a rift with the USA. he wants the US to declare war on the Islamists. This is a book written by and for the American right. Moderate Muslims are distinguished from Islamists but the writer does not seem to involve them in dealing with their more extreme co-religionists. This is to me the major weakness of his thinking. Surely only Muslims can really work on the root of this problem, A violent section of Islam that has a long pedigree. I do not want to see Eurabis but can the US really declare war on Islamism when it cannot even get Muslims on board to support its action in Iraq? I agree our security forces should use ethnic profiling and they should secure our borders. I would totally oppose his idea of identification cards for all. That is to make the law abiding pay a tax on terrorism. I agree the war against multiculturalism in Europe must be won with a return to pride in our Christian heritage which has given us pluralism. This is an easy read, a popular style, but lacks depth and engagement with Muslims.
8. Western Muslims and the Future of Islam by Tariq Ramadan
The author has been describe as a Muslim Martin Luther. That is an exaggeration as neither the secular nor the religious powers of the day are seeking his life as far as I know. But like Luther, Ramadan is a reformer who says that Muslims must adapt to be citizens in democratic countries in the West. He divides Muslims into five groupings and he seems closest to liberal or rational Reformism. He wants Muslims to adapt and engage with Western culture and the political process. He does not believe in retreat to the ghetto nor in exclusively Muslim schools. Muslims can and should be good citizens in Western democracies. He rejects the traditional division of the world into abodes of Islam and of War. He says Muslims in the west are at liberty to practise and propagate their faith. I found much of what he discussed to be relevant to Christians who see their faith as a way of life not mere religion. The way of spirituality and being distinctive from the surrounding culture are common concerns. I regret he did not develop the idea of co-belligerent action in his chapter on dialogue. My other regret is that he says little or nothing about the origins of the violent strands of Islam which threaten us today. But this book is a positive start to better relations with Muslims in the West.
9. Puritanism and Revolution: Studies in Interpretation of the English Revolution of the Seventeenth Centuryby Christopher Hill
Hill is an expert on 17th century England and does not let one down. His perspective may be Marxist but he really does understand what made godly Puritans tick.This is a mixed bag of essays. The best are on the consequences of reformation, the Norman Yoke, Clarendon, Perkins and Preston. Here you learn the breadth of Puritan interests and what friends and enemies thought of them.
10. Tales of Two Cities: Christianity and Politics by Stephen Clark
These are papers on politics delivered at a conference of Affinity, formerly the separatist British Ecumenical Council. Anglicans presenting papers for Affinity shows they have moved from the hard line separatism of the former B.E.C. Wenham shows how Israel's law can be a paridigm for today. His paper is most memorable for his case for vegetarianism. Wilmshurst shows how Jesus was political though not primarily so. Storkey has given us a more comprehensive and exciting treatment of this in his recent book. Field is stimulating on Rutherford, especially on how Rutherford would have questioned things today. Helm is helpful distinguishing the varieties of pluralism today but I think he should have told of Kuyper's pluralism. Davis Smith gives an excellent paper on Miall, a Victorian dissenter too hot for the Free Church establishment of the day. I found McKay a little disappointing on the crown rights of King Jesus, Does not his own Covenanter tradition discourage contemporary political involvement bcause our government does not acknowledge the 17th century covenants? This is never mentioned. I also believe he uneccesarily besmirches Kuyper on race. In conclusion, Stephen Clark gives a helpful summary of some contemporary problems, but why not even a mention of having an explicitly Christian political party? Is Kuyper not only dead and buried but forgotten? There is much to enjoy and stimulate in this book but why in the age of computers is a scholarly work deprived of an index?
11. Not a Man to Match Her: Feminist View of Britain's First Woman Prime Minister by Wendy Webster
This is an interesting perspective on how the image of Margaret Thatcher was manipulated to promote her political career. The author contends that the early 1950s politician was all for women with children continuing with their careers as she did, but her later position was much more for the traditional role of women as mothers not careerists. Her major gripe is that Thatcher never did anything to promote women in politics. Of course the feminist position is that women should have been promoted into Thatcher's cabinet because they were women. Mrs Thatcher on the other hand seems to have preferred to promote on merit not gender.
While the author is no fan she can at times show admiration for the Iron Lady. But she seems to make no attempt to get at the real woman, telling us rather about the development of an image. The author portrays a self-centred woman.Oother biographers have written of a more personally caring Thatcher.
12. Pi in the High by Eric Lionel Mascall
Mascal was an Anglo-Catholic theologian. This short book of poetry requires a decent amount of theological knowledge for one to appreciate the wit and the parodies which are well written and illustrated. A delightful little read.
13. Masters of the English Reformation by Marcus Loane
First published in 1954 to mark the 400th anniversary of the executions of the Oxford martyrs, this book is a gem. One cannot but be thrilled to read of the developing faith of five godly men whose devotion to the truth led them to make the ultimate witness. One is also encouraged to see that these were men like us who sometimes failed. Bilney and Cranmer made recantations of their faith which they bitterly regretted.Bilney was one of the first to be converted to the reformed Faith. A Cambridge scholar he was famed for his witness and practical piety in visiting the poor and prisoners. The night before his execution he prepared for pain by burning toff the end of a finger in a candle flame. He led Latimer to Christ by asking to confess his sins to him. Latimer went on to become the greatest preacher of his age, a man Henry VIII would hear though Latimer trimmed nothing to suit the king. Ridley was the scholar who discovered that transubstantiation was not the doctrine taught by the church fathers. In this he greatly influenced Cranmer, the scholar who came to Henry's attention by his advice on the king's divorce.Cranmer was thus appointed to Archbishop of Canterbury over the heads of all the then bishops. Henry trusted him and protected him like no other man. Cranmer was bold with the king, pleading for mercy for Mary Tudor, Anne Bolyne, Thomas Cromwell and others. He is the man most responsible for England having a Reformed national church with incomparable liturgy. When Mary became queen he refused the advice of his friends to flee the land. He stayed to die.Tyndale fled England under Henry to give us the bible in our own tongue. His translation is the unackonwledged basis of the King James Bible. After a life moving from country to country, translating and publishing, he made his ultimate witness in Belgium.
14, The Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations by Ned Sherrin
This topically arranged dictionary of quotations is more than a collection of humorous quotations. perhaps it should be titled, Sherrin's Favorite Quotes. For reference to sources it is not a patch on Nigel Rees.
15. Forever Today: A Memoir of Love and Amnesia by Deborah Wearing
Some factual books are of a kind that if they were fictional writings, they would be too strange to be believed. This is one of them. It is also that rare factual book, one that you cannot put down because you do not know how it will end and you are gripped by the narrative.
In his forties, Clive Wearing, an expert on ancient music was nearly killed by viral encephalitis. Not diagnosed for a week, he only survived because an anti-viral drug was eventually administered. But a lot of his brain was destroyed, especially the parts giving memory. His amnesia was the worst ever seen. Not all past memory was gone, but he had no capacity for new memories. He never knew how long he had been ill, never recognised people who cared for him professioanlly for years, could not remember food and drink previously taken. yet he could recognise family at times, read music not books, could write and could conduct a choir and play the organ. Initially euphoric, Clive then spent weeks in uncontrolled weeping when he realised something of his predicament. He could also be violent. To her horror, his wife Deborah, only in her twenties, found there were no facilites for ambulant brain damaged people like Clive. So, working in P.R., she was able to get a T.V. documentary made about him and start a charity which eventually led to the provision of specialist facilities to care for Clive. For six years had been in a psychiatric ward. With Clive settled, Deborah left England , divorced and hoped to find another man to give her children. But she came back to England, Clive and an amazing conversion to Christian faith which led to a renewal of marriage vows.
This is simply a spell binding story of tragedy and love. I have never read anything like it.
The title comes from Larkin but the author tells us he has not followed the misogynist's advice of not having any kids himself. He does though believe that most of our problems in life come from dysfunctional nurture, not genetics. This is an encouraging message because it means we are all responsible beings who can work to reflect on the past and correct what is wrong.
There seems to be a lot of Freudian psychology here. I do not buy a lot of his analysis as it is full of generalisation. He says there are three conscience types then tells us one may have parts of more than one of them. My major criticism is that this is a totally secular approach devoid of any objective standards of morality by which counsellees may be told some conduct is morally wrong, not merely destructive.Hhe seems to assume we all will have multiple sexual partners. He is denigratory of Christian child rearing which will use corporal punishment. He offers practical advice on how to audit one's past and chance for a better future but I did not find any of his stuff personally applicable. I had a good upbringing by loving parents in a stable marriage. So did my wife and so have our children. All parents are dysfunctional but this book seems address to those with more dysfunction than some of us have experienced.Hhe does have fascinating insights into some famous personalities and I am left with a lot of sympathy for our heir to the throne. There is good information here on a lot of mental health problems.
2. Calvin: For Armchair Theologians by Christopher Elwood
The style is Calvin for Dummies but I guess such a title might breach Dummies' copywrite. This book is well written at a popular level and has delightful cartoons. The history, thought and theology of the great French reformer of Geneva are sympathetically related. Calvin is absolved of some of the many slanders by his detractors, though not that of having a very vehement forceful character. It would also have helped to have been informed that Calvin was not even a citizen of Geneva for most of his stay there let alone its demagogue. The inheritors of Calvin are fairly described though there are some glaring omissions like Cromwell, Covenanters and the Kuyperian tradition. The is one little niggle, a commitment to inclusive language, so using third person feminine pronouns where the masculine is usual. But I wholeheartedly recommend this as an introduction to Calvin.
3. Our Culture, What's Left of It: The Mandarins and the Masses by Theodore Dalrymple
Dalrymple has worked as a prison and hospital doctor in an English city with sizeable minority communities. He is also widely travelled. most of these articles were published in an American journal. Is a prophet still withour honour inhis own country?
The first part is twelve literary and artistic reviews, Great on Shakespeare and Gilray, scathing of most moderns, especially for what passes as art but sometimes is literally, shit. My only criticism here is that he has the popular misconception of Puritans as killjoys and Calvin as a theocratic despot, both views far from reality.
Fourteen more essays are on culture and politics. The welfare state has produced an underclass unable to help themselves out of dependency on a state which encourages dependency , Sexual license, irresponsibility, political correctness and the folly of multi-culturalism. The article on Italian corruption is a surprise. The idol of Dianna is toppled.Drugs must be kept under control. and sex put back under restraint. Honeyford is applauded as a prophet. The author like the Bradford schoolmaster sees Islam in need of change but I fear he is too optimistic on that account. One only has to read his next chapter on France. The horror of the Wests is recounted. All that is missing is his reflections on Shipman and some prescription for a better future. Fascinating but in general a pessimistic book.
4. Muslims and the State in Britain, France, and Germany (Cambridge Studies in Social Theory, Religion & Politics)
by Joel S. Fetzer & J Christopher Soper
Two academics in the USA have produced this study surveying the relationship of Muslims to the state in three European countries. They look at how these countries, England (and it is England only in the study not all the U.K.), France and Germany have accommodated Muslim practices since the huge growth in immigrant Muslim populations in the last 50 years. Particular attention is paid to religion in state schools and to mosque building. Their conclusion is that Muslims have been given more freedom to publicly express their faith in England where the Church of England is the established religion, than is the case in the other two countries. In France, strict state secularism has even banned Muslim dress in state schools. Germany is between the two. There Muslims would like the same state financing as the major churches enjoy.
This book is very limited in its scope.What is very evident but never discussed here is that with Islam, freedom of religion is very much a one way street. Muslims in the West rightly use all possible means to freely practice their faith in a way that Christians in Muslim countries simply cannot do. Also ignored is the loyalty question, Are European Muslims primarily loyal to the nation state or to the Muslim umma. There is no mention of Islamic aim to establish their way of life as that of all society.
This book is very academic and not a gripping read. One niggle, England is not theoretically Christian. Constitutionally it is Anglican. In reality, it is secular but with a more benign approach to faith than the French, laicite.
5. The Dragons of Expectation: Reality and Delusion in the Course of History by Robert Conquest
Conquest is an expert on Russia and Communism in the last century. His book is mainly written against those who are the leftist fellow travellers who have still not accepted the truth about the evils perpetrated by totalitarians in the last century. I did not find this an easy read. Conquest is an intellectual who warns well against the statism of the West, the growing centalisation of government and the ever expanding beaurocracies. His critique of the undemocratic E.U. is particularly astute.
6. A Throne in Brussels: Britain, the Saxe-Coburgs and the Belgianisation of Europe by Paul Belien
Paul Belien has written a fascinating account of how the Coburgs went from an impoverished dukedom to be the monarchs of four European countries. They still rule Belgium where the king has more power than any other European monarch. All the Coburg males, with one exception, Baudouin, have beem more goat than man as far as their promiscuity is concerned. One of the worst was Queen Victora's beloved Uncle Leoplod, who we are told was probably the real father of Albert as well as a paedophile. Had not Leopold's wife, the Hanoverian Princess Charlotte, died in childbirth, Leopold would have been prince consort, not Albert. One can be thankful he became king of the newly created Belgium instead. Belien gives a full history of this artificial country with perpetual tension between Flemings and Walloons, Dutch and French speakers. The account of Leopold II and his personal possession, the Belgian Congo, is horrific. Leopold III betrayed his country and surrendered to Hitler. Amazingly the Belgians voted to have him back afterwards. All the Coburg kings except Baudouin have not been servants of their countries but exploiters for personal enrichment. Belien sees the way Belgium is kept together and run to be a prototype for the E.U. superstate. Read this and be warned. At least I do not think a federal Europe would have a Coburg for king.
7. The West's Last Chance: Winning the Clash of Civilization by Tony Blankley
Blankley starts his book with a gripping nightmare scenario of Europe giving in the the demands of Islamists so precipitating a rift with the USA. he wants the US to declare war on the Islamists. This is a book written by and for the American right. Moderate Muslims are distinguished from Islamists but the writer does not seem to involve them in dealing with their more extreme co-religionists. This is to me the major weakness of his thinking. Surely only Muslims can really work on the root of this problem, A violent section of Islam that has a long pedigree. I do not want to see Eurabis but can the US really declare war on Islamism when it cannot even get Muslims on board to support its action in Iraq? I agree our security forces should use ethnic profiling and they should secure our borders. I would totally oppose his idea of identification cards for all. That is to make the law abiding pay a tax on terrorism. I agree the war against multiculturalism in Europe must be won with a return to pride in our Christian heritage which has given us pluralism. This is an easy read, a popular style, but lacks depth and engagement with Muslims.
8. Western Muslims and the Future of Islam by Tariq Ramadan
The author has been describe as a Muslim Martin Luther. That is an exaggeration as neither the secular nor the religious powers of the day are seeking his life as far as I know. But like Luther, Ramadan is a reformer who says that Muslims must adapt to be citizens in democratic countries in the West. He divides Muslims into five groupings and he seems closest to liberal or rational Reformism. He wants Muslims to adapt and engage with Western culture and the political process. He does not believe in retreat to the ghetto nor in exclusively Muslim schools. Muslims can and should be good citizens in Western democracies. He rejects the traditional division of the world into abodes of Islam and of War. He says Muslims in the west are at liberty to practise and propagate their faith. I found much of what he discussed to be relevant to Christians who see their faith as a way of life not mere religion. The way of spirituality and being distinctive from the surrounding culture are common concerns. I regret he did not develop the idea of co-belligerent action in his chapter on dialogue. My other regret is that he says little or nothing about the origins of the violent strands of Islam which threaten us today. But this book is a positive start to better relations with Muslims in the West.
9. Puritanism and Revolution: Studies in Interpretation of the English Revolution of the Seventeenth Centuryby Christopher Hill
Hill is an expert on 17th century England and does not let one down. His perspective may be Marxist but he really does understand what made godly Puritans tick.This is a mixed bag of essays. The best are on the consequences of reformation, the Norman Yoke, Clarendon, Perkins and Preston. Here you learn the breadth of Puritan interests and what friends and enemies thought of them.
10. Tales of Two Cities: Christianity and Politics by Stephen Clark
These are papers on politics delivered at a conference of Affinity, formerly the separatist British Ecumenical Council. Anglicans presenting papers for Affinity shows they have moved from the hard line separatism of the former B.E.C. Wenham shows how Israel's law can be a paridigm for today. His paper is most memorable for his case for vegetarianism. Wilmshurst shows how Jesus was political though not primarily so. Storkey has given us a more comprehensive and exciting treatment of this in his recent book. Field is stimulating on Rutherford, especially on how Rutherford would have questioned things today. Helm is helpful distinguishing the varieties of pluralism today but I think he should have told of Kuyper's pluralism. Davis Smith gives an excellent paper on Miall, a Victorian dissenter too hot for the Free Church establishment of the day. I found McKay a little disappointing on the crown rights of King Jesus, Does not his own Covenanter tradition discourage contemporary political involvement bcause our government does not acknowledge the 17th century covenants? This is never mentioned. I also believe he uneccesarily besmirches Kuyper on race. In conclusion, Stephen Clark gives a helpful summary of some contemporary problems, but why not even a mention of having an explicitly Christian political party? Is Kuyper not only dead and buried but forgotten? There is much to enjoy and stimulate in this book but why in the age of computers is a scholarly work deprived of an index?
11. Not a Man to Match Her: Feminist View of Britain's First Woman Prime Minister by Wendy Webster
This is an interesting perspective on how the image of Margaret Thatcher was manipulated to promote her political career. The author contends that the early 1950s politician was all for women with children continuing with their careers as she did, but her later position was much more for the traditional role of women as mothers not careerists. Her major gripe is that Thatcher never did anything to promote women in politics. Of course the feminist position is that women should have been promoted into Thatcher's cabinet because they were women. Mrs Thatcher on the other hand seems to have preferred to promote on merit not gender.
While the author is no fan she can at times show admiration for the Iron Lady. But she seems to make no attempt to get at the real woman, telling us rather about the development of an image. The author portrays a self-centred woman.Oother biographers have written of a more personally caring Thatcher.
12. Pi in the High by Eric Lionel Mascall
Mascal was an Anglo-Catholic theologian. This short book of poetry requires a decent amount of theological knowledge for one to appreciate the wit and the parodies which are well written and illustrated. A delightful little read.
13. Masters of the English Reformation by Marcus Loane
First published in 1954 to mark the 400th anniversary of the executions of the Oxford martyrs, this book is a gem. One cannot but be thrilled to read of the developing faith of five godly men whose devotion to the truth led them to make the ultimate witness. One is also encouraged to see that these were men like us who sometimes failed. Bilney and Cranmer made recantations of their faith which they bitterly regretted.Bilney was one of the first to be converted to the reformed Faith. A Cambridge scholar he was famed for his witness and practical piety in visiting the poor and prisoners. The night before his execution he prepared for pain by burning toff the end of a finger in a candle flame. He led Latimer to Christ by asking to confess his sins to him. Latimer went on to become the greatest preacher of his age, a man Henry VIII would hear though Latimer trimmed nothing to suit the king. Ridley was the scholar who discovered that transubstantiation was not the doctrine taught by the church fathers. In this he greatly influenced Cranmer, the scholar who came to Henry's attention by his advice on the king's divorce.Cranmer was thus appointed to Archbishop of Canterbury over the heads of all the then bishops. Henry trusted him and protected him like no other man. Cranmer was bold with the king, pleading for mercy for Mary Tudor, Anne Bolyne, Thomas Cromwell and others. He is the man most responsible for England having a Reformed national church with incomparable liturgy. When Mary became queen he refused the advice of his friends to flee the land. He stayed to die.Tyndale fled England under Henry to give us the bible in our own tongue. His translation is the unackonwledged basis of the King James Bible. After a life moving from country to country, translating and publishing, he made his ultimate witness in Belgium.
14, The Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations by Ned Sherrin
This topically arranged dictionary of quotations is more than a collection of humorous quotations. perhaps it should be titled, Sherrin's Favorite Quotes. For reference to sources it is not a patch on Nigel Rees.
15. Forever Today: A Memoir of Love and Amnesia by Deborah Wearing
Some factual books are of a kind that if they were fictional writings, they would be too strange to be believed. This is one of them. It is also that rare factual book, one that you cannot put down because you do not know how it will end and you are gripped by the narrative.
In his forties, Clive Wearing, an expert on ancient music was nearly killed by viral encephalitis. Not diagnosed for a week, he only survived because an anti-viral drug was eventually administered. But a lot of his brain was destroyed, especially the parts giving memory. His amnesia was the worst ever seen. Not all past memory was gone, but he had no capacity for new memories. He never knew how long he had been ill, never recognised people who cared for him professioanlly for years, could not remember food and drink previously taken. yet he could recognise family at times, read music not books, could write and could conduct a choir and play the organ. Initially euphoric, Clive then spent weeks in uncontrolled weeping when he realised something of his predicament. He could also be violent. To her horror, his wife Deborah, only in her twenties, found there were no facilites for ambulant brain damaged people like Clive. So, working in P.R., she was able to get a T.V. documentary made about him and start a charity which eventually led to the provision of specialist facilities to care for Clive. For six years had been in a psychiatric ward. With Clive settled, Deborah left England , divorced and hoped to find another man to give her children. But she came back to England, Clive and an amazing conversion to Christian faith which led to a renewal of marriage vows.
This is simply a spell binding story of tragedy and love. I have never read anything like it.
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Pharmacy and Mental Health
Wednesday evening i was invited to address a meeting of Barnet Voice for Mental Health on my work as a pharmacist. I looked at the changes I have seen in dispensing psychotropic drugs in the last 43 years. I explained why I'd rather be in counselling than dispensing as drugs only help control symptoms, they do not touch causes of mental problems. I also said that I could not do secular counselling, It has to be wholistic and not rule out the spiritual or moral imperatives as is the fashion today. I did my best to answer questions on the specific drugs my hearers wanted to ask about. I explained why, as a man surrounded by such drugs, i would never take any. Bar tenders should beware lest opportunity leads to alcoholism.
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