Drink-christiansquoting.org.uk

What soberness conceals, drunkenness reveals.

One difference between a man and a machine is that a machine is quiet when well oiled.

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.

Alcohol preserves everything except secrets.

Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.


Draft beer, not people!

The Heineken Uncertainty Principle:

You can never be sure how many beers you had last night.

She was only a Bootlegger's Daughter, but I loved her still.

Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.

Hangover: The wrath of grapes.

Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl's clothes off.

Scientists for Health Canada suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.

I think that I shall never hear
A poem lovelier than beer.
The stuff that Joe's Bar has on tap,
With golden base and snowy cap.
The stuff that I can drink all day
Until my mem'ry melts away.
Poems are made by fools, I fear
But only Schlitz can make a beer.

What's so unpleasant about being drunk? You ask a glass of water.--Douglas Adams THHGttG

Wine is as good as life to a man, if it be drunk moderately. What is life then to a man who is without wine? For it was made to make men glad.-- Ecclesiaticus.

Sorrow can be alleviated by good sleep, a bath and a glass of wine. --Thomas Aquinas

I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me.
Brendan Behan when told to turn from drinking 12 pints plus 2-3 bottles of whisky a day.

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony. Robert Benchley

..wine that gladdens the heart of man - Psa. 104:15

Stop drinking only water, and use a little wine because of your stomach and your frequent illnesses. 1Tim. 5:23 NIV

One evening in October, when I was one-third sober,
An' taking home a "load" with manly pride,
My poor feet began to stutter, so I lay down in the gutter,
And a pig came up an" lay down by my side.
Then we sang "It's all fair weather when good fellows get together,"
Till a lady passing by was heard to say:
You can tella man who boozes by the company he chooses",
And the pig got up and slowly walked away.
Benjamin H Burt 1880-1950, And the pig got up and slowly walked away, 1933 song.

It is permissible to use wine not only for necessity, but also to make us merry...... [it must be moderate] lest men forget themselves, drown their senses,.....in making merry [those who enjoy wine] feel a livelier gratitude to God. ~ John Calvin, The Institutes of Christian Religion

People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.--Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

Drink moderately, for drunkeness neither keeps a secret, nor observes a promise. --Miguel De Cervantes

When I was younger I made it a rule never to take strong drink before lunch. It is now my rule never to do so before breakfast. -- Winston Churchill

I neither want it [brandy] nor need it, but I should think it pretty hazardous to interfere with the ineradicable habit of a lifetime. -- Churchill

No one can ever say that I ever failed to display a meet and proper appreciation for alcohol. --Winston Churchill

My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.- Winston Churchill, 1874 - 1965

Went home to lunch at 12.30 p.m., enjoying a bottle of Shepherd Neame's 5.4% "Bishop's Finger". This really is the elixir of life, but unfortunately, when drinking this strong bitter, I tend to keel over whilst in the middle of a dissertation about the excessive drinking habits of the young.--John Copeland DIARY OF A SUPERANNUATED SOUL w/e22.8.98

Then trust me, there's nothing like drinking
So pleasant on this side of the grave;
It keeps the unhappy from thinking,
And makes e'en the valiant more brave.
Chas. Didbin (1745-1814)
The horse and mule live thirty years
And never know of wine and beers.
The goat and sheep at twenty die
Without a taste of scotch or rye.
The cow drinks water by the ton
and at eighteen is mostly done.
The dog at fifteen cashes in
Without the aid of rum or gin.
The modest, sober, bone-dry hen
Lays eggs for noggs and dies at ten.
But sinful, ginful, rum-soaked men
Survive three-score years and ten.
And some of us, though mighty few
Stay pickled 'til we're ninety-two.
Charles Duffy

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. - W. C. Fields

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. - F. Scott Fitzgerald

Beer is proof that God loves us. --Benjamin Franklin

It is disgusting to notice the increase in the quantity of coffee. Everybody is using coffee. If possible this must be prevented. My people must drink beer. -- - Fredrick the Great, 1777

Wine is earth's answer to the sun. - Margaret Fuller 1810-1850

Wine is sunlight held together by water.- Galileo

Licker talks mighty loud w'en it git loose fum de jug.
Joel Chandler Harris (1848-1908), UNCLE REMUS: HIS SONGS & HIS SAYINGS (1880), "Plantation Proverbs".

The wine urges me on, the bewitching wine, which sets even a wise man to singing and to laughing gently, and rouses him up to dance and brings forth words which were better unspoken. --Homer (c. 700 BC) _The Odyssey_, Book XIV, Line 463

And malt does more than Milton can
To justify the ways of God to man.
A E Housman

I like liquor - its taste and its effects - and that is just the reason why I never drink it.
"Stonewall" Jackson (1824-1863) In "The Harper Book of Quotations," by Robert I. Fitzhenry, 1993.

Sobriety diminishes, discriminates, and says no; drunkenness expands, unites, and says yes. Not through mere perversity do men run after it. William James

Boswell: "I think, Sir, you once said to me, that not to drink wine was a great deduction from life." Johnson: "It is a diminution of pleasure, to be sure; but I do not say a diminution of happiness. There is more happiness in being rational."
James Boswell: Life of Samuel Johnson

I called on Dr. Johnson one morning, when Mrs. Williams, the blind lady, was conversing with him. She was telling him where she had dined the day before. "There were several gentlemen there," said she, "and when some of them came to the tea-table, I found that there had been a good deal of hard drinking." She closed this observation with a common and trite moral reflection; which, indeed, is very ill-founded, and does great injustice to animals -- "I wonder what pleasure men can take in making beasts of themselves." "I wonder, Madam," replied the Doctor, "that you have not penetration to see the strong inducement to this excess; for he who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man."
Anecdotes of the Revd. Percival Stockdale; collected in "Johnsonian Miscellanies," edited by G.B. Hill.

In the bottle discontent seeks for comfort, cowardice for courage, and bashfulness for confidence.- Samuel Johnson: Addison (Lives of the Poets)

We discussed the question whether drinking improved conversation and benevolence. Sir Joshua maintained it did. Johnson: "No, Sir: before dinner men meet with great inequality of understanding; and those who are conscious of their inferiority, have the modesty not to talk. When they have drunk wine, every man feels himself happy, and loses that modesty, and grows impudent and vociferous: but he is not improved; he is only not sensible of his defects. --"Boswell: Life of Johnson

Talking of drinking wine, he said, "I did not leave off wine because I could not bear it; I have drunk three bottles of port without being the worse for it. University College has witnessed this." Boswell: "Why then, Sir, did you leave it off?" Johnson: "Why, Sir, because it is so much better for a man to be sure that he is never intoxicated, never to lose the power over himself."
Boswell: Life of Johnson

Boswell: "I think, Sir, you once said to me, that not to drink wine was a great deduction from life." Johnson: "It is a diminution of pleasure, to be sure; but I do not say a diminution of happiness. There is more happiness in being rational." Boswell: Life of Johnson

Boswell: "You must allow me, Sir, at least that it produces truth; in vino veritas, you know, Sir--" "That (replied Mr. Johnson) would be useless to a man who knew he was not a liar when he was sober." --Piozzi: Anecdotes of Johnson

Claret is the liquor for boys; port for men; but he who aspires to be a hero must drink brandy.--Samuel Johnson

Wine makes a man better pleased with himself; I do not say that it makes him more pleasing to others. Samuel Johnson

I . . . strongly object to the tyrannic and unscriptural insolence of anything that calls itself a Church and makes teetotalism a condition of membership. Apart from the more serious objection (that our Lord himself turned water into wine and made wine the medium of the only rite He imposed on all His followers), . . . Don't they realize that Christianity arose in the Mediterranean world where, then as now, wine was as much part of the normal diet as bread? --Clive Staples Lewis (1898-1963) _Letters of C.S. Lewis_ [1966], "16 March 1955"

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. -- Joe E Lewis

Prohibition will work great injury to the cause of temperance. It is a species of intemperance within itself, for it goes beyond the bounds of reason, in that it attempts to control a mans appetite by legislation and makes a crime out of things that are not crimes.- attr to Abraham Lincoln, but most probably not his, though a true observation IMO.

We are fighting Germany, Austria and Drink, and as far as I can see, the greatest of these deadly foes is Drink. - David LLoyd George, The Times, 30 Mar 1915

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss.--Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love"

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then, I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." Robert A. Lotzer

Dear Kate, we arrived in Halle today at eight, but did not continue on to Eisleben because a big Anabaptist met us with waves and hunks of ice. She flooded the land and threathened to rebaptize us ... We take refreshment and comfort in good Torgau beer and Rhenish wine, waiting to see whether the Saale (river) will come down ... The devil resents us, and he is in the water - so better safe than sorry.
Martinn Luther to his wife:, in Theology of the Reformers, Timothy George.

Prohibition makes you want to cry in your beer, and denies you the beer to cry into.--Don Marquis

I'd rather that England should be free than that England should be compulsorily sober. With freedom we might in the end attain sobriety, but in the other alternative we should eventually lose both freedom and sobriety. --W.C. Magee, Archbishop of York Sermon at Peterborough (1868)

Better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian. --Herman Melville

When night
Darkens the streets, then wander forth the sons
Of Belial, flown with insolence and wine.
John Milton. 1608-1674. Paradise Lost. Book i. Line 500.
Satiety comes of too frequent repetition; and he who will not give himself leisure to be thirsty can never find the true pleasure of drinking. --Montaigne

I'm sitting here completely surrounded by no beer.~~~ Onslow, Keeping Up Appearances

Dinner without wine is like a kiss without a squeeze.-Robert B. Parker, "The Widening Gyre", p. 21

The juice of the grape is the liquid quintessence of concentrated sunbeams. - Thomas Love Peacock

Fill with mingled cream and amber,
I will drain that glass again.
Such hilarious visions clamber
Through the chamber of my brain.
Quaintest thoughts, queerest fancies
Come to life and fade away.
What care I how time advances:
I am drinking ale today.
Edgar Allen Poe
If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination. -- Thomas De Quincey

Never accept a drink from a urologist. -- Kevin Michael Reed

Drunkenness is temporary suicide: the happiness that it brings is merely negative, a momentary cessation of unhappiness.
Bertrand Russell

Drunkenness does not create vice; it merely brings it into view --Seneca

I have very poor and unhappy brains for drinking: I could well wish courtesy would invent some other custom of entertainment. --William Shakespeare (1564-1616) _Othello_ Act II, Scene iii, Line 34

O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains! That we should, with joy, pleasance, revel, and applause, transform ourselves into beasts! --William Shakespeare (1564-1616)_Othello_ Act II, Scene iii, Line 293

PORTER: Drink, sir, is a great provoker of three things.
MACDUFF: What three things does drink especially provoke?
PORTER: Marry, sir, nose-painting, sleep, and urine. Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance.
Shakespeare, MacBeth, 2:iii

We are merely cheated of our lives by drunkards. --William Shakespeare (1564-1616) _The Tempest_ [1611-1612], Act I, Scene I

Put it back in the horse! - H. Allen Smith (1906 &endash;1 976), on tasting his first American beer.

When the pilgrims, seeking religious freedom, landed at Plymouth rock, the first permanent building put up was the brewery.
Jim West, Drinking With Calvin and Luther! (Carmichael, CA: Jim West 1995), p.14.

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. --Kaiser Wilhelm

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. --Henny Youngman

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says "Okay, let's get started.- Henty Youngman

There's nothing romantic, nothing grand, nothing heroic, nothing brave, nothing like that about drinking. It's a real coward's death. -- Warren Zevon