BBC says The Eurovision Song Contest voting system needs to be changed because it is "harmful to the relationship between the peoples of Europe", an MP has said.
Countries voted for their neighbours rather than the best songs, Liberal Democrat MP Richard Younger-Ross said.
Come on. get real. Europe hates us, especially because of Iraq and we hate the E.U. The sooner we are out of stupid Union and Contest the better.
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In accordance with his great success in giving independence to the Bank of England, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, Gordon Brown, has announced today that one of his first acts as Prime Minister will be
• to grant independence to Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland;
• to grant nationhood to Isle of Mann, Jersey, Guernsey, Alderney (and if you will insist) Sark and, of course, Gibraltar (and Calais);
• to divide England up into as many nations as is wanted, with Cornwall and Yorkshire leading the way. (It is reported that the Kingdom of Fife and Berwick-upon-Tweed have entered into the spirit of things and will UDI from the newly independent Scotland.
Monmouthshire has also been kicked out of Wales because the Welsh didn't want them (and never have, apparently.)
And, 'All of this,' said Mr. Brown's spokesman, 'Is designed to usher in a new dawn in European relationships and set up a proper voting block for the Eurovision Song Contest.'
On the announcement of this cunning plot, Zetland reacted by confessing that they would join in with the Scandinavian block and David Cameron announced that he had been signed up to sing for England.
'What England?' asked a mystified Gordon Brown.
Brilliant, John!
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