Rutherford Revised (175)

175. To John Laurie    From Aberdeen 10 Jun 1637

Dear brother, - I am sorry that you or so many in this kingdom expect so much of me an empty stem. I am truly a worthless and poor body; but if the clashing of the iron chains of my Lord Jesus, on legs and arms could sound the high praises of my royal King, whose prisoner I am, oh how my joy would overflow!  If the Lord would strengthen one soul by my chains, I would be satisfied. But I do not know what I can do for such a princely and beautiful Well-beloved; he has so fully paid me. Little thanks to me, to tell others that His wind blows on me who am only withered and dry bones; but since you want me to write to you, either help me to set Christ on high for His overflowing love, in that the heat of His sweet breath has melted a frozen heart; or I think you do nothing for a prisoner.
   I am fully persuaded that I now suffer for the honour of our Lawgiver. I am not ashamed to give our letters of recommendation of Christ's love to as many as will praise the Lord Jesus and his cross. If I had not started this sea voyage to heaven, but had taken the land route as many do, I should not have known such a measure of Christ's sweetness. But the truth is no-one should thank me, for I did not make Christ's wind blow on me. His love came on a withered creature whether I would want it or not; and yet when it came I welcomed it. A heart of iron or iron doors will not keep out Christ. I give Him permission break iron locks and enter, and that is all I do. And now I do not know whether pain from love for want of possession, or sorrow that I am not able to thank Him, pains me the most; but both work on me. For the first: oh that he would come and satisfy the longing soul; and fill the hungry soul with these good things! I do indeed know that my guiltiness may bar His way; but He is God and ready to forgive. And for the other: woe ,woe is me, that I cannot find a heart to repay again my unworthy little love for His great sea full of love to me! Oh that He would teach me this piece of gratitude! Oh that I could have permission to look in through the hole in the door, to see His face and sing His praises, or could break one of his room's windows, to look in on His delighting beauty, until my Lord sends more! Heaven would be begun if I had any little communion with Him, one of His love looks. I know he is not like a lord, nor is the Bridegroom's love proud though I am black, not lovely and unworthy of Him. I advise you to think highly of Christ, and of free, free grace more than you did before; for I know Christ is not known among us. I think I see more of Christ than ever before; and yet I see little of what may be seen. Oh that He would open the curtains, and that the King would come out of His gallery and His palace, that I might see Him! Christ's love is young glory and young heaven; it would soften hell's pain to be filled with it. I would suffer anything to get a swallow of love as my heart desires! Oh, what price can be given for Him. Oh, His weight, His worth, His sweetness, His exceeding beauty! If men and angels would come and look at that great Princely one, their shallows could never take up His depth, their narrowness could never encompass His breadth, height and length. If ten thousand thousand worlds of angels were created, they might all tire themselves wondering at His beauty, and begin again to wonder at new beauty. On that I could get near to him to kiss His feet, the hear His voice and feel the smell of His perfume.! But oh alas I have little, little of Him. Yet I long for more.
   Remember my chains and help me with your prayers; for I would not barter or exchange my sad hours with the joy of my velvet enemies. Grace be with you.
   Yours in his sweet Lord Jesus,  S.R.