Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Vegetables -

Do you know the difference between broccoli and nose-pickings?
You have to tell your children to eat broccoli.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Vegetarians don't live longer, they just look older.

Nothing wrong with vegetarians. Some of my best friends are vegetarians. Admittedly, they're also quadrupeds....Peter Anderton

The conclusion which he drew, or pretended to draw, as that if it was sinful to kill and eat animals, it was not less sinful to do the like by vegetables, or their seeds. None such, he said, should be eaten, except what had died a natural death, such as fruit that was lying on the ground and about to rot, or cabbage-leaves that had turned yellow in late autumn. These and other like garbage he declared to be the only food that might be eaten with a clear conscience. Even so the eater must plant the pips of any apples or pears that he may have eaten, or any plum-stones, cherrystones and the like, or he would come near to incurring the guilt of infanticide. The grain of cereals, according to him, was out of the question, for ever such grain had a living soul as much as man had, and had as good a right as man to possess that soul in peace.
Samuel Butler, Erewhon: or, Over the Range, chapter XXVII, "The view of an Erewhonian philosopher concerning the rights of vegetables."

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals. - Finley Peter Dunne

Vegetarianism is harmless enough, though it is apt to fill a man with wind and self-righteousness. --Sir Robert Hutchinson

A cucumber should be well sliced, and dressed with pepper and vinegar, and hen thrown out, as good for nothing.
Samuel Johnson (Boswell: Journal of a Tour to the Hebrides)

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat. --Fran Lebowitz

I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are. --Groucho Marx

The West wasn't won on salad. --North Dakota Beef Council

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.-Rita Rudner

Please understand the reason why Chinese vegetables taste so good. It is simple. The Chinese do not cook them, they just threaten them! - Jeff Smith, The Frugal Gourmet Cooks with Wine, 1986

Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now blue-green meat, THAT'S bad for you! --Tommy Smothers

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