Repartee - christiansquoting.org.uk

Silence is the unbearable repartee.- Gilbert Keith Chesterton

Judge Willis tried to think of a decisive retort. At last it arrived.'Mr. Smith, have you ever heard of a saying by Bacon--the great Bacon--that youth and discretion are ill-wedded companions?'
'Yes, I have,' came the instant repartee. 'And have you ever heard of a saying of Bacon--the great Bacon--that a much-talking judge is like an ill-tuned cymbal?'
'You are extremely offensive, young man,' exclaimed the judge.
'As a matter of fact,' said Smith, 'we both are; but I amtrying to be, and you can't help it.'
Such a dialogue would be held brilliant in a carefully-written play, but that these successvie rejoinders, each more smashing than the former, should have leapt into being upon the spur of the moment is astounding. - Winston Churchill, 'F. E. First Earl of Birkenhead', in _Great Contemporaries_, 1937

On another occasion, in the crowing period of his life, he was addressing a meeting in his old constituency. He said at one point: 'And now I shall tell you exactly what the Government has done for all of you.'
'Nothing!' shouted a woman in the gallery.
'My dear lady', said Lord Birkenhead, 'the light in this hall is so dim as to prevent a clear sight of your undoubted charms, so that I am unable to say with certainty whether you are a virgin, a widow, or a matron, but in any case I will guarantee to prove that you are wrong. If you are a virgin flapper, we have given you the vote; if you are a wife, we have increased employment and reduced the cost of living; if you are a widow, we have given you a pension--and if you are none of these, but are foolish enough to be a tea drinker, we have reduced the tax on sugar.-- Winston Churchill, 'F. E. First Earl of Birkenhead', in_Great Contemporaries_, 1937

To a woman heckler shouting "I wouldn't vote for you if you were the Archangel Gabriel" .....
If I were the Archangel Gabriel, madam, I'm afraid you would not be in my constituency.- Sir Robert Gordon Menzies , at Williamstown ,Victoria

William Howard Taft (1857 -1930):I have been talking for a quarter of an hour, but there is so much noise that I can hardly hear myself talk."
Crowd member: "That's all right, you're not missing anything.";

Wilde once appeared onstage after one of his plays to accept a standing ovation. During the applause, however, someone in the audience threw a rotten cabbage on stage. The witty playwright simply leaned over, picked up the cabbage, and replied: "Thank you, my dear fellow. Every time I smell it, I shall be reminded of you."

Voter: "I'd sooner vote for the devil."
John Wilkes (1725 - 1797): "And if your friend is not standing?"