On losing weight on pain of death

33lb = 15Kg lost in August. 11.2%. Yesterday I wore a shirt that was tight when I was given it some years ago. By last year it was too tight to wear. Now it is pleasantly loose on me. You cannot trust modern fabrics! Much better for the loss but I do not recommend my regime of heart failure which was most distressing, followed by diuretics which are prescription only.
Heart failure was grim. The cardiologists, and I have had the unusual blessing of the advice of three consultants in different locations, do not know why the failure but their best reasoning is weakening of the heart by irregular beats after surgery six months ago. Also mentioned was a silent and symptomless heart attack.
It presented as slowly increasing shortness of breath which was not too distressing until the night I found it was hard to breathe lying down. Now that was bad. I suspect it was like water boarding but dry. Asphyxiation is worse than acute pain in terms of distress. For the first time in my life I was thinking that I was on the edge of Jordan and about to cross over. I was not in any fear of the far shore. I have assurance of life in Christ , of sin forgiven. I have no unfinished business, no forgiveness to be sought from anyone here that I am aware of. I was ready but concluded my family are not. So best not to go yet. Having seen death come quickly and seen it linger for months and years I know which looks preferable to the one departing. But for the family and friends, the one is a sudden shock, the other a sharing in suffering. It is a non-choice between the lesser of two evils. A non-choice because it is not ours to make. I love Bunyan's portrayal of crossing Jordan in Pilgrim's Progress part 2. Sometimes the water is shallow, sometimes a flood. What matters is not the depth of the water - or how long the crossing - what matters is knowing the trumpets will sound on the other side. So I guess my concern when I knew I was in the valley of the shadow, was not so much for myself as for those who would be left behind on the shore.
This contrasts with perhaps the only other time I feared not so much death as serious injury. It was 26 December 1964. My father was driving his Hillman Minx estate. No seat belt worn and a dashboard with some long switches. My ten year old brother was front passenger. I was in the rear seats with my girlfriend. I saw a Rover 2000 coming round the bend ahead overtaking alongside a Mini. I thought there is no way we are missing a head on collision. Impact speed would be in excess of 100mph as there was no time to brake. My next thought was as I picked myself up from a foetal like ball behind the front passenger seat was how badly hurt am I. It was selfish if natural. Everyone else was far worse than me. My father and brother were in hospital for weeks and there were permanent effects. My girlfriend had a bloody face from a cut but was not so bad at all. All I had was a very badly strained back and two broken metacarpal bones in my left hand. I had been concussed but did not realise it as the hospital did not put the question as to whether I could remember the moment of impact. I could not.
But my point in relating this 53 year old story, is that then my first concern was for myself. This time I was more concerned for others so perhaps I have changed for the good.
But as I said, treatment for heart failure is not recommended as a weight loss strategy. It works but not a way of choice. Self medication with diuretics is not a legal option. not with diuretics of prescription strength, the ones I describe as stand and deliver medicines [sit if you are female :-) ]. Past attempts at weight loss by dieting have not been successful. I did lose a little by cutting out all added sugar before I gave away my eldest daughter but the loss was restored though not the sugar. I confess to enjoying a see food diet, see food and eat it. A puritan wrote I that many dig their graves with their teeth. I enjoy my food and drink. Self-control of intake is not one of my virtues. I have never I managed to preach against gluttony. What an ugly word! I enjoy my food. You are a trencherman. He is a glutton. Come to think fit, have never preached on self-control either. Chesterton said he might not practice what he preached but at least he never preached what he practised. GLC was large too and more rotund than me. I make no excuses but do offer one explanation. On my father's side I can go back to the late 18th century. All the men in the line were heavy metal workers including blacksmiths and puddlers of iron. Big men. large framed manual workers. Mine is the first generation with a sedentary occupation. That is by way of explanation not excuse. Marge once told Homer Simpson she was blaming him not holding him responsible. I accept blame and responsibility and hereby sincerely record my resolve to live slimmer and longer. No-one knows in advance their time to go. Past history may have some relevance. I know the ages of five males in the direct paternal line. Only my father lived to be older than I am at present and that by only four years.  Psalm 90:12 - 'So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.'. I reckon that being past the allotted span of three score and ten one should be thankful for each day.